Catch Me
by liveandlove1989
Summary: It all started with a look. A single glance into the eyes of what she deemed an angel. And Elsa fell. She fell hard and fast. But reality has a way of brutally ripping apart your expectations. Elsa gets exactly what she wants, someone to care for her for once in her life. But just how long that will last is debatable. (Modern AU, non-incest, mention of suicide)
1. Chapter 1

From merciless clouds above, swirling wisps of black and gray caught together, came the gentlest of snowfalls. It drifted down on the ghost of a wind, blanketing the asphalt and concrete just enough to shield them from view.

A soft sigh escaped the blonde's mouth, visible in the below freezing atmosphere surrounding her. She slipped her hands into the pockets of her thin jacket, listening to the comforting crunch of ice beneath her boots as she continued on her way.

Even though it wasn't that bad, few people adventured out. She was grateful for that, crowds of any degree made her nervous. It was pleasant to be able to go down the street without fearing someone was following you, or simply watching from afar.

The wind picked up, blowing in her direction, sending up little puffs of the frozen crystals. They danced, parted, settled back down.

She smiled to herself, watching. Something so very beautiful. Cold, even harsh at times, but undeniably magical. A fascination, some might have called it. An obsession, others would deem it. She cared for neither word. She just... liked it.

Her steps halted as she grew nearer to her destination. A small coffee shop just off the side of main street, a dainty place that presented itself as comfy and homey. She hated it, hated the very beverage they specialized in.

But she had little choice of where to go, as her mother worked here. And expected her to work here as well.

Even from outside the door, she could see in. Several booths by the windows were occupied, people laughing as they sipped at their mugs. A line consisting of only three or four people stood branching away from the cash register.

The blonde squared her shoulders. It was okay, just a few hours and she'd be done. Piece of cake.

Emboldened with the knowledge that after this she could slip back home and into her own private sanctum, aka her room, she was able to shamble in.

Immediately the contrast from cold to warm made a shudder travel down her spine. She pushed the door shut, breathing in the now overbearing smell of vanilla and cinnamon, wincing as a few eyes looked her way before returning to their friends.

"Elsa, there you are," her mother's voice cut into her thoughts as she shuffled toward the counter, pulling off her gloves as she did.

"Oh, hey, mom. I'm sorry I'm la-"

"Never mind that, just get to work," the woman hissed, brushing back a lock of her strawberry blonde hair. There were circles under her eyes, her frown more persistent than normal. The wrinkles around her dull marine eyes made her seem years older than she was.

"Yes, ma'am," Elsa murmured, slipping behind the counter as she unzipped her jacket.

She pushed through the doors into the back, greeted with a friendly grin thrown toward her from one of the view friends she made.

A young man, only a few years older than herself. His lopsided smile revealed slightly crooked teeth, and he sauntered over. The second his massive arms wrapped round her, she herself smiled. He smelled of multiple colognes, a result of most lightly coming straight here from his first job.

"Hey, blondie," he chuckled, ruffling her silver hair as he pulled back. "Thought you might not even come today."

Elsa sighed as she handed over her coat and gloves to him. "I thought about it. Believe me, it took several minutes before I could even leave the house."

He nodded in understanding as he tossed her things on a chair. "Yeah, your mom's been pretty booked today. Muttering about how little you do."

"Normal," the blonde sighed, letting a sad smile grace her lips.

"Olaf, get over here," someone called from around one of the racks of containers.

The man huffed as he ran a hand through his course brunette hair. "Well, back to work, I guess. Hit me up after your shift, 'kay? I think we both need to go do something."

Elsa rolled her eyes. "And that would be? Going out and feeding the imaginary ducks in the park? Ice skating on too thin ice? Picking wilted flowers for our lovely dying boutique?"

Olaf grinned that crooked grin. "Whatever you want, so long as it doesn't cost anything."

The blonde shook her head, watching him disappear into the room. Then she huffed and turned, heading back out to the front.

Her mother had shifted over, slipping into place as the new cashier once the other left for break. She briefly glanced back at her daughter, throwing a sad smile.

Elsa returned the gesture, though she doubted the woman saw it as she turned quickly to speak with her current customer.

Fishing out a tiny pad, pencil, she reached for one of the neatly folded aprons next to them. Tying it around her waist felt damning, too real. Like it anchored her to this place.

"Miss?" a young man called to her, just as she retrieved her pad.

She sighed, and slowly slipped into the all too familiar routine.

One person to the next, she answered questions regarding the drink options, took orders, brought them their requests.

...

With a groan, she leaned against the door just within the kitchen. She glanced at her watch, the tiny arms of the clock providing a blessing. Only a half hour before her shift ended. She was grateful; at one point her anxiety had nearly made her break down.

Stealing what courage she could again, she straightened and slipped back out.

"...kay, really. I just want hot cocoa..." a gentle, uneasy voice greeted her.

Her eyes were drawn to the young woman her mother was talking to, awkwardly.

Fiery red hair, tan skin even in the middle of winter. Small lips that curled up at the corners nervously. Freckles that seemed to have been splashed across her face.

And shockingly teal eyes that met hers.


	2. Chapter 2

Quick **A/N** : Hey guys!

So listen, I know what I said about not having time. And I don't heh. But I wanted to offer you all this before I just left. So please, send in your thoughts on this and I'll get back around to posting just as soon as I can.

I don't plan on this being overly long, but then again we all saw what that attitude got me got 'All For Her' haha. So we'll see. And I'll try to reel in the angst a tad bit, but it's what I'm best at. So don't expect it to all be fantastically fluffy the entire time.

Thanks guys! As always, I'll keep posting as long as you all keep up! - _Sara_

* * *

A growl of frustration left her lips as she furiously backspaced. There was no way any place would accept an application as confusing as what she had just written up. It was a disaster, the result of a lack of attention.

Downstairs, she could faintly hear clashes, even the occasional bang. Glancing at the clock on her monitor, she frowned. Only two in the afternoon and already her mother was downing booze left and right. Wouldn't be long before she crashed on the sofa, sobbing herself to sleep.

It had scared Elsa once, terrified her really. But now it was like some sadistic comfort. As long as her mother was doing her thing, Elsa was allowed to be herself. Shut off from everyone, not forced to reign in her own emotions, not having to pretend she cared.

With a click of her tongue her eyes glued themselves to the screen once more. This place paid twice as much as her current occupation as a waitress. And it was at the edge of town, giving her an excuse to be out longer and farther away.

A sudden loud shattering sounded, basically right beneath her room, making her jump unexpectedly. Her heart leaped to her throat a second, then it slowly sank in despair when loud, slurred cuss words were screamed up. Followed by an order.

"Elsa? Get your sorry ass down here, _now_!" Her mother's voice was ice, or glass. It dug into her back and sliced up her spine, making her entire body tense and her muscles twitch as she stood.

She went ahead and exited the website, knowing she probably wouldn't be back up here for a while, before grudgingly treading out her bedroom and down the hall. It was a small house, left by her father before he was KIA. The walls were gray, ceiling an off white. Two bedrooms, one bathroom, nothing to be called décor between the narrow frames.

The stairs were in bad shape, creaking noisily as she trudged down them, as was the living room she stepped in. Torn couch from a dog they'd had years ago, single slightly tilted coffee table and mismatching recliner chairs. And the flat screen tv had gone so long without use she doubted it worked.

She crossed over the threshold to the kitchen just to the left of the stairs, greeted with a disastrous state.

Two of the worn out wooden chairs they used with their makeshift dining table were toppled and tossed, the table clothe laying bunched in the floor. Utensils that had been in the dish rack were now on the counter and in the sink. And the one decent vase they'd had reserved for this room alone was laying in jagged, menacing pieces by the counter.

Her mother was in a ball by the trash can, clutching a bottle three fourths gone and sobbing her lungs out onto the cold, flaking linoleum.

Elsa's mind could care less, seeing as how this was an almost daily occurrence. But her heart still reached out for the lonely, decrepit widow. She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve to sit alone with her thoughts eating away at her.

Elsa knew that feeling all too well.

Fear caused the slightest of hesitation, but then she stepped forward and found the movement easier. She could do this.

Her mother seemed to curl further in on herself when the blonde's gently touch reached out. Elsa kneeled and took a firm but careful hold on the woman's arm, feeling how hot she was beneath her palm.

The woman looked up, through tangled and wild hair, up with red rimmed bloodshot eyes of confusion and distortion. Her cracked lips formed her late husband's name, but no words came forth. Instead, a sob reverberated, and she let her head fall with a dull thud.

Elsa swallowed back her nausea at the overwhelming stench of alcohol that invaded her nostrils, reaching out and gently tugging the open and sloshing bottle from between clenched hands, sitting it aside before she moved up and over her mother to sit with her back to the counter.

She eased her mother's trembled by caressing her hair, not at all surprised when the woman inched up to lay her head on her daughter's lap, breath evening but still deep.

And Elsa continued her feather light touches, bringing as much comfort as she could when she herself wanted to cry at the sight before her. How was this fair? How could it be real? She loved her mother, she did. And she knew she loved her, in her own way.

This was the only time they ever truly got along though, and that hurt. It hurt a lot.

Elsa bit back the tightness growing in her chest and throat and laid her head back to rest against a counter that smelled of the cleaner she'd used on it earlier that morning.

And she hummed. A broken tune that she faintly recalled her father humming to her to lull her to sleep.

She felt her mother relaxing. Elsa knew the second her poor mother fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Back guys, haha. Been a while, I know, and I'm sorry about that.

Good news, I've gotten ahead on this. So I was thinking I'll post one or two chapters a day for the next few days, kay?

Thank everyone who's R&Red so far! _-Sara_

* * *

"Woah, hey, just relax a moment," Olaf said gently, pushing her back into one of the few chairs in the back of the shop.

Elsa sighed and allowed herself to fall onto the creaking furniture, lower back thanking her as she relaxed somewhat. Somewhere close by, something heavy and metal was dropped, but she barely flinched. She stifled a yawn as she glanced up at the man before her.

"Geez, Elsa. There's more than just you working here, you know. So what if your mom took the day off? That doesn't mean you have to make up for her on your own." Those sensitive hazel eyes were almost sad, as if knowing she probably wouldn't listen to him.

And she didn't. She couldn't. Instead, she shook her head, rolling her shoulders so they made a satisfying popping noise.

"I'm okay, really. It's just another hour or so."

"Well maybe you should just quit early," he offered. "I could fill in for you."

Elsa scoffed and glared up at him. "We're already short handed, Olaf. If I left now, you'd be down four people. I can manage."

The brunette sighed and ran his hand through his hair thoughtfully.

"Fine, blondie. But don't push yourself. We need you around here," he murmured as he tugged her up lightly.

Someone called for him in the back, and he huffed as he shrugged. "I'm serious, Elsa. I'll be watching. You push yourself, I intervene. Clear?"

She nodded, touched by his care and understanding. "Yeah, crystal," she murmured as he turned to leave.

For a long moment, she just stood there. It was warm in here, made her even more sleepy than she already was.

Gathering her bearings, Elsa turned and headed out the front door, taking a quick scan of the booths. No one seemed to need her currently, and their were only a few people at the register being attended to by another employee.

And then the front door opened, cold wind whipping in as a small figure sidestepped in. It was a funny sight really, watching the person as they pressed against the door for a moment, stamping off the snow stuck to their boots onto the welcome mat.

And then they removed their woolen hat, and fiery locks of auburn were set free. The scarf keeping her nose and cheeks from frostbite was tugged down around her neck, revealing rose tinted skin and a tiny smile.

Elsa caught her breath as those eyes seemed to train on her briefly before sliding away. She watched, captivated, as the young woman turned and headed for an empty booth, tossing her stuff on one side and sliding into the other.

She swallowed, cleared her throat. She didn't know why.

That woman was just a customer. She had a job to do, and that was to see to the redhead's order.

She allowed the woman a moment longer to get herself together. She watched the thick, insulated jacket slide off after mittens were discarded, revealing a tight blouse that dipped in the front.

Inhaling deeply, she walked forward.

With each step, it felt weird. Like Elsa was walking towards something she just wasn't ready for.

The redhead glanced up, their eyes locked as the blonde took those last steps, pausing just shy of right beside her.

"Uh, good afternoon," Elsa said. She felt her neck heat up as she heard her own voice, slightly high. "What would, uh, what would you like?"

The redhead opened her mouth to speak, then closed it. Then opened it again, brow furrowing. "Hot chocolate, please."

"Will that be all?"

"Um, yeah, yes, thank you."

It was the most awkward thing she'd ever experienced, walking away from that woman as she shoved the pad back into her pocket and headed straight for the kitchen.

She called out the order to one of the kitchen hands, and when it was prepared she took it gently. It was a... surprise, to see her hands shook slightly.

Anna was waiting, gazing out the window silently, her attention fully on the tiny ice crystals that fell from the sky. Elsa gently set down the cup and prepared to leave.

"Wait," that small voice muttered.

"Did you need something else?" was the immediate response Elsa replied with, finding herself drawn into the redhead's gaze.

"I'm Anna."

The identification was... unnecessary, but Elsa found herself replaying the name in her brain. Anna. She wouldn't forget that name. It was... beautiful.

She smiled gently, wringing her hands nervously. "That's a lovely name... I'm Elsa."

"Elsa," Anna repeated, as if testing the sound of the name. Her lips curved up into a broad, almost childish grin. "That's really pretty."

Elsa nodded in understanding, wanting desperately to escape. She'd never been more embarrassed by simply speaking to someone, especially a customer.

"Uh, well if that really is all...?"

Anna giggled at the obvious uncomfortableness her waitress was experiencing. The sound was pure and clean, innocent. "It is, thanks."

The blonde bobbed her head in confirmation and turned, hurrying away.

Once safely back in the kitchen, leaning against the door, she let out a shaky exhale. Whatever that was...

What was it, even?

She shook her head. Attraction, yes. She'd experienced that. But this was weird, and it scared her. Just a bit.

She avoided Anna after that, letting someone else get her money and bring the cup back to the kitchen.

Elsa knew it was silly, maybe downright stupid, but she even avoided that very table until her shift was done that day.


	4. Chapter 4

A spontaneous rain fell from the sky, drops that mingled with the already frozen water residing upon the earth to create sloshy, slippery slopes of mayhem. It was heavy, steady and real. Elsa could hear it from the safety of her room even through the glass of her one window.

Her eyes remained fastened on the words she'd been emailed, reading over them twice before scowling and deleting them in anger. Another rejection, another floundered attempt.

She knew she didn't have _experience_. How could she when everything already _required_ it? It was utterly ridiculous.

With a deep exhale she fell back, slumping in her swivel chair with her sight wondering up. There were patterns on the ceiling she'd remembered always being there, little lines and grooves and bumps. A collection of imperfections sharing their own hardships. A family, perhaps.

It was better than the one she had, she thought bitterly. At least these could admit their faults, their flaws. What she had was worse than dysfunctional. It was secretive, shut in. And it was falling apart.

Even now her mother slept soundly in her bed, blissfully unaware of the world and everything her daughter was or wasn't. In the morning, she'd awaken just to throw up, scream about how Elsa needed a place of her own, then leave or shut herself within what was formerly her husband's study.

Nothing more than a yelling match, and that would be their communication for the day. Until the next, when they'd look away from one another as they spoke at work. As the week progressed, it would get easier, enough so they could give quick glances. Then the breakdown. And the cycle would continue.

An unbreakable, unintentional pattern of hate and love. Elsa could deal with that. It was all she'd known for what seemed an entire lifetime.

The buzzing of her phone made her jump, the sound dimmed by the beating rain but still alarming. She reached for it numbly, tapped the screen so it wouldn't fade into nothingness.

Olaf. Two words. **I'm outside.**

Elsa sighed and shut the electronic off. She was grateful someone was there for her, but right now she only wanted the horrible wonder that was self loathing.

But she couldn't say no to him. There wasn't such a word in his vocabulary.

Checking the time, seeing it was nearing seven that evening, she swore she'd be back before nine. That was more than two hours. If that big lug wasn't happy with that, she just wouldn't go anywhere.

She stood and stretched, exiting out of everything to return back to the title screen before rushing to grab a hoodie out of her closet. A bulky gray thing, something she'd received a few years ago for her birthday.

Olaf really was right outside, she noted as she locked and shut the door behind her, slipping her keys into her pocket. He was sitting in his tiny convertible, the car he'd been gifted by his stepfather for his eighteenth birthday. Six years ago.

"Sup, blondie?" he threw with a grin as she slipped inside, unfortunately already drenched from so short a run. She couldn't help returning the smile as she threw her hoodie in the back and reached for the seatbelt.

"The normal. Just being denied an actual life. You?"

He chuckled as he switched gears into first. "What does it look like? Taking my main girl out to eat."

"Main? So there are more?"

He smirked, glancing at her from the corner of his eye. "Depends. Do I look like a one gal man?"

She laughed, the sound real for the first time all day. "I don't know if I should answer that honestly."

He laughed with her, reaching out to flick on the radio. "Whatever. Choose whatever you like. You have good taste in music."

She thanked him, turning the knob as the car inched forward. She knew it was just him being cautious, but he was one of the slowest drivers she'd ever witnessed. She settled with something that sounded like classic rock, the sounds filling the car as she turned up the sound.

"So, where are we going?" she finally asked, looking out at the white setting. Well, it wasn't completely white at this point. The rain had washed bald spots in the snow, leaving sidewalk and dead grass visible.

"Ah, someplace nice," he answered, switching gears as he slowed for a stop sign. "I know how you haven't gotten out in a while, so I decided it'd be a nice change of pace."

Elsa couldn't help frowning as she looked over. "How can you afford dinner for us tonight?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Doesn't matter. Just enjoy yourself."

With a sigh she reached over, a hand resting gently on his elbow. "Olaf, I really appreciate this. You're an absolutely amazing friend, you are. But I can't accept it."

He frowned, brow furrowing. "Come on, Elsa. It's no biggie, really. You make me sound like I don't have a penny to my name."

She smiled lightly, pulling her hand back. "You don't though."

He playfully swatted at her leg with one hand, the other clutching the wheel tightly. "Whatever. At least I got my own place, you bum."

Elsa rolled her eyes. She knew it wasn't an insult. It was all for fun and games between the two of them.

"Sure," she said with a small giggle, returning her gaze to the darkening sky above. "Let's just go to a diner or something. I don't want anything extravagant tonight."

"You sure?"

She nodded, resting her chin on an open palm. "Yeah."

The corners of Olaf's mouth twitched up as he scratched his chin. "Alright, blondie. But don't blame me for the terrible service."

She rolled her eyes again, sighing, contempt. "Noted."


	5. Chapter 5

Even though she was starving, she couldn't bring herself to eat. Not for any specific reason, just because she didn't feel like it. Olaf either didn't notice or knew not to push; he didn't say anything about it as he recounted a story involving his little brother, Marshal, and his imaginary friend, Marshmallow.

She laughed when appropriate, asked questions or threw in comments when needed, but other than that, she just couldn't focus. Not because she wanted to hurt his feelings, or even because she just wasn't interested. She found herself... lacking, though what was questionable.

Olaf noticed her faraway look. He set down his fork and balled up a clean napkin, tossing it at her gently. It bounced of the bridge of her nose and succeeded in drawing her attention back.

"Hmm?" she questioned.

Olaf rolled his eyes and shrugged, leaning back in his seat. "Nothing. Just confirming your state of mind tonight."

Elsa felt the back of her neck heat up as her gaze fell.

"Sorry."

He sighed and shrugged again, pushing away his plate. "S'okay. Just forget it."

There it was. That look that told her she'd messed up. Olaf wasn't easily upset, but it was clear she'd done so with her lack of attention.

Gently she reached out around the plates, taking his hand. "Hey, I'm sorry. I just... Can we be serious for a second here?"

Olaf smiled lightly and nodded, squeezing her hand. "Of course."

Elsa returned the simper. Her hand slipped from his and she took a deep breath, leaning back in her seat. Where to begin?

"I don't know what's going on with me," she stated uncertainly, before scoffing at herself. "Well, I do. But it's the same crap that's always been wrong."

"Your mother? Your job? Me?"

Her eyes shot up and she shook her head quickly. "No, not you. Why would it be you?"

Olaf shrugged, crossing his eyes playfully. "Cause I'm not serious enough? Because I try too hard?"

Elsa couldn't help smiling gently. "Yeah, maybe. But it's not you. It's..."

But she was cut off. By something, or more specifically someone, she least expected.

That laugh...

It sounded out beautifully as the diner's front door was tugged open, clear and rejuvenating.

It sent a jolt through Elsa, making her body tingle as her eyes turned to look to confirm her suspicion. She was right.

Anna. Her red hair was tied back in a tight ponytail, lips tinted pink and upturned in a childlike grin.

And her hand was currently being held by someone else. A burly man that shuffled into the diner following her.

"Come on, Krist," Elsa could hear from even here.

The blonde man huffed and jerked his hand away, playfully nudging her as he closed the door behind the two.

Anna's eyes swept the place before landing... right on Elsa. Elsa felt her entire face burn as those auqa eyes studied her.

"Hey, Earth to Elsa," came a less clear voice, almost muffled by the walls of her mind. She only glanced at Olaf briefly though, eyes darting back to the redhead.

But Anna wasn't looking at her any longer. She and whoever Krist was had taken a seat at the counter, chatting back and forth with one of the waitresses. Unaware that not three booths down, Elsa was watching them, stunned, dry mouthed.

And Olaf was glancing from her face to the seemingly happy couple and back.

"Oh, I get it," he at last said. It seemed that was finally enough to catch his friend's attention.

"Get what?" Elsa asked, looking the man over.

His lopsided grin told her everything. He knew. Or... she thought he knew. But his answer made her remember he didn't know everything about her.

"Come on, Els. You were eyeing up that guy like a cheetah with prey. You know him or something?"

Elsa swallowed uneasily, shaking her head. "No, I don't. Not really."

"Not really? Oh, story time, babe. Come on, spill it."

Elsa scowled and crossed her arms over her torso. "No, I don't know him. I know the girl he's with though. Anna."

As if hearing her name, Anna glanced over. A small smirk resided on her thin lips, before she turned back to her company as if nothing had happened.

It made something inside Elsa's stomach flip horribly.

"Ah, gotcha. Wanna talk to them, then?"

Oh how she hated Olaf sometimes. Her mouth opened to stop him but her brain just didn't register his words fast enough.

"Yo, Anna?"

The redhead turned when her name was called, looking surprised. Something told Elsa she wasn't though. "Yes?"

Olaf glanced over to Elsa, raising his eyebrows. It was almost a threat, though maybe he didn't see it as such.

"Elsa here would like to talk to you guys."

Elsa thought she might die right there. Could he have been any denser? Probably, actually, but still.

She nervously looked up, and her eyes met Anna's. Those orbs were so bright and so perfect and so... gah! Why?

Anna smiled. "Sure, one sec."

Elsa looked away as fast as she could, gaze falling to the table top. Her face was so on fire she feared her skin might melt like the ice she so adored.

"There, easy peasy," Olaf deduced, scooting over to make room for their guests.

Elsa did the same, and before she could think, a small body was squeezing itself into the booth next to her, blocking off her escape had she required one.

"Hey, long time no see," Anna chirped as her friend slipped into the other side. "This is Kristoff. Krist, this is Elsa."

She seemed so much more open than the last time Elsa had spoken to her. It was... nice.

And terrifying.

This was... going to be an interesting night.


	6. Chapter 6

It must have been midnight, maybe later. Elsa didn't know. She'd lost all sense of time as she watched the thin body before her wriggling in time to the music. She nearly lost herself in the... thoughts going through her head.

If not for the man beside her. Kristoff nudged her, sloshing his beer accidentally.

"She sure knows how to move, huh?"

Elsa scooted away, nearly falling out of the leather booth.

How did she end up here with these two? No idea. It just kind of... happened. It was hard to say no to Anna when she gave this look.

But now, Elsa sort of regretted it.

She was literally throwing away her life to drink and dance with two strangers. One of which she was interested in when that person was two things. One, STRAIGHT. Two, TAKEN.

Through the over eccentric, blaring music came Anna's laughter, and Elsa couldn't help blushing as the object of her thoughts slunk down beside her on the seat, giggling like a school girl.

"Come on, Elsa! Dance! Don't you know how?"

Of course she did. But this, this was something else. This was an orgy of throngs of desperate people.

"Uh, maybe another time." She had to shout to be heard, her normal monotone lost as an undercurrent to the music.

Anna frowned, reaching over and taking the mug from Krist. He looked ready to pass out right there in the booth, head lazily lulling against his shoulder.

"Come on, don't be a party pooper," Anna whined, bringing the mug to her lips.

As Elsa watched, the redhead took a sip, winking over the rim.

Elsa felt her neck dancing with flames.

Anna had become bolder as the night progressed, more teasing. More taunting. More confusing to an infatuating blonde woman now struggling to breath through her embarrassment.

"M-maybe another time."

Anna smirked, and leaned in. Close enough Elsa could smell the alcohol on her breath, see the dark, almost black dots in her eyes. "So there's going to be another time?"

Elsa leaned away, caught off guard. "W-well, I-I mean-" Her hand reached out to brace her, but there wasn't any booth left for her to do so.

She let out a yelp as her body fell back, tensing to brace herself for impact. The floor was much harder than she anticipated though.

A cry escaped her lips as she lay in stunned paralysis. Anna just seemed to stare for the longest moment.

Elsa groaned and shifted up onto her elbows, looking up. Only to find the redhead shaking with laughter so badly she was actually doubling over.

"Oh my god," she breathed, feeling almost itchy all over as embarrassment washed through her. She wanted to cry as Anna kept laughing uncontrollably.

It never seemed to end. Anna was still giggling as she finally regained herself enough to look down at Elsa. "Are you, you know, okay?"

Elsa set her jaw, looking away as she sat up. "Yeah, fine." She took a moment to ease her horrified mind before she continued up.

Anna scooted back, patting the seat. As if she expected Elsa to just sit down like it all okay after that.

Elsa couldn't. She shook her head as she brushed off her jeans. "You know, it's getting kinda late," she snapped unintentionally. "Think I should go now."

Anna took a moment to register the blonde's words, but when Elsa turned to actually leave it hit her. Her eyes went wide, and she jumped up, dropping her half empty mug in the process.

"Damn," she cursed as the liquid drenched the front of her pants.

But it didn't stop her from following the woman out through the crowd to the front door.

The air hit her, cold and relieving. It made her flushed cheeks seem less hot, made the liquid sticking to her legs feel freezing. But it didn't stop her.

"Hey, wait, I'm sorry," she called.

Elsa paused in her departure, slightly surprised the redhead had actually followed her. She'd figured Anna was so far out of it she'd be just about as reactive as Kristoff. That is to say, nonreactive.

But when Elsa turned, there the younger woman was. Looking like she'd peed herself but there all the same.

"What are you sorry for?" she asked, crossing her arms over her torso subconsciously.

"For laughing," Anna explained, pausing when she stumbled, regaining her balance fairly quickly. Or she thought she had.

Elsa gasped and dashed forward as the woman tipped, nearly falling if arms hadn't wrapped around her.

"Geez, you're more out of it than I thought..." Elsa commented, wincing as she pulled back.

She sighed, thinking a second. She couldn't rightfully just leave her here...

"Where do you live?" Elsa asked with a sigh.

Anna looked up confused, stumbling back. "What?"

"Look, you're not driving anywhere like this. Where do you live? We'll go get Kristoff and I'll drive you two home."

Anna frowned, furrowing her brow. She didn't think there was anything wrong with her, but the determined expression Elsa had opted to take made her hesitate in voicing her opinion.

With a huff, she gave in. "Okay, okay, let me go get Krist."

But when she turned, everything just seemed to suddenly tilt and spin.

Those arms were around her again. Warm and caring and inviting. She felt a breath against her ear, nearly groaned when it left.

"Look, think you can get to the car?" She nodded without turning. "Good. You head that way, I'll get Kristoff."

Elsa watched the redhead stagger off, looking exhausted. She felt exhausted. But there was something else bugging her.

When she'd caught Anna the second time...

No, no it was just her imagination.

But... it had seemed Anna had leaned into the touch slightly...

Nah, just her imagination.

... Right?


	7. Chapter 7

"Yo, Els, take over the cash register for me, will ya?"

Elsa sighed as she slipped past a hand holding couple leaving the shop. "Sure, one sec."

Wiping her hands on her apron, she reached around to undo it as she slipped in place where John had been standing.

It was a slow day today. Elsa couldn't help but be thankful for that. The past couple of nights had been pretty bad, a lack of sleep making her groggy and uncomfortable.

And her mother still hadn't come to work. So that was a shift she was working over time to fulfill.

Since no one was at the counter, and she doubted anyone would be coming in any time soon, she leaned against the counter lazily.

She wasn't normally like this, and she was slightly surprised Olaf hadn't commented.

Pulling out her phone proved it to only be six twenty seven. Another half hour. Just great.

But just when it seemed things were down and miserable, the door opened.

Elsa looked up, straightening up a little automatically. Didn't make her feel much better but appearances had to be up kept.

And of course it was the one person she really just didn't want to see.

Anna. The young woman was bundled up much like the first time Elsa had spoken to her. It had gotten colder out, a thicker layer of snow dusting over the previous exert.

She closed the door behind her quickly, almost shuddering as she stood with her back to the shop for a second. Elsa felt something in her chest flutter. Was this just going to be a normal thing whenever this woman was in her presence? She hoped not.

She watched as gloves then a scarf were removed, next a cap to reveal Anna's hair in a tight bun. She looked more sophisticated, almost older somehow.

With a sigh, she turned to face the counter, eyes immediately drawn to who was currently positioned at the register. Elsa.

She smiled gently, though a wave of embarrassment swept over her. She hoped it wasn't all that noticeable.

It had been nearly three days since she saw the blonde, so mortified by what she could have possibly done or said in her drunken state that she couldn't bring herself to confront the woman.

But Elsa returned the smile, a hint of concern etching across her sharp features briefly. It settled some of Anna's fears, at least for the moment.

"Hey," she voiced as she neared the counter, setting her things down awkwardly.

"Hey," Elsa answered in turn, bringing a hand up to rub at the corner of her eye. Speaking of, there were noticeably large bags under her eyes. Like she hadn't slept in a while.

"You okay? You don't look so good," Anna commented, unable to stop her own tongue.

Elsa sighed and shrugged, arm falling to her side. "Yeah, I'm good. Just wish I wasn't here." It was the most honest thing she could say.

Anna nodded slowly, not totally convinced. "Listen, I just... I wanted to apologize for the other night," she started quietly, looking down at the counter top and then out across the many booths lining the windows. "I uh, I'm not normally like that. Krist and I were just celebrating and things just kinda got outta hand."

Elsa blinked, then knitted her brow as the words sank in. "Celebrating?"

Anna smiled gently and nodded, though she still didn't look directly at the blonde. "Yeah. He got accepted into this college he's been applying to nonstop."

Elsa paused, then uncomfortably crossed her arms over her stomach. "O-oh, geez, I'm sorry. Me and Olaf intruded, didn't we?"

That finally made the redhead's gaze return up. Her smile widened as if to confirm her words true. "No, nothing like that. It was fun having you two with us. Don't worry about it."

Elsa couldn't help biting the inside of her cheek. She nodded but she still felt guilty. Damn Olaf, it had been his fault after all.

"Yeah... So, uhm, what'd you want?"

Anna blinked. "Excuse me?"

Elsa huffed and smiled apologetically. "To drink. What do you want to drink?"

It took a second, but suddenly Anna giggled. The sound was softer than her normal laughter, and yet it seemed twice as beautiful. It made Elsa's stomach knot with something unfamiliar yet pleasant. It was a sound she was certain she wanted to hear again.

Anna's eyes were bright and kind as she shook her head. "No, I don't think so. I actually came to see when you get off work."

That made the smile Elsa had been trying desperately to harbor falter. "What? Why?"

Anna huffed as if it should be the most obvious thing. "Because I wanted to buy you dinner. I thought maybe we could start over."

Elsa felt her cheeks warming up. She gaped only a second before she was frantically shaking her head. "N-no, no, I couldn't... I couldn't accept that, Anna."

Anna frowned; that hadn't been the reaction she was expecting. "Come on, please? It just seemed like we kind of started off weirdly and I just feel guilty. Pretty please?"

And there it was. That look. Anna's eyes seemed to widen, looking so innocent and so pure it tugged at every fiber of Elsa's being. How the hell was that fair?

Elsa really did try to say no. But looking at that face was just too much.

With a sigh of defeat she resigned her opinion, even knowing this was a bad idea.

"Yeah, okay. I get off at seven."

Anna beamed so widely it was almost unreal. "Great! In the meantime, I'll take a hot cocoa, please."

There it was, that childish attitude. Elsa shook her head.

God, what was she getting herself into?


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N:** Hey guys! Yes, I realize it's been a while. No excuses except a lack of inspiration and time. Hope ya didn't miss me too much haha._

* * *

Her laugh was genuine and undeterred, though she brought a hand up self consciously to shield it. Her shyness was adorable and child like, and Anna couldn't help grinning widely as she studied her companion.

Around them, the soft keys of a piano drifted in the air, gently stirring the atmosphere into that of someplace magical and romantic. It was something Elsa wasn't used to, something Anna adored.

A silence settled between the two women as the clattering of cutlery against plates transcended. Anna was so innocently consumed by the chicken curry that Elsa didn't dare disturb. Instead, she sipped her water and watched quietly, occasionally taking tiny bites of her salad.

When conversation did come up again, it drifted towards a mutual plane of interest for both participants.

"So, what do you think of the food here?" Anna asked casually, followed by her gulping down the last of her lemonade.

Elsa smiled down at her plate as if that answered it. "It's... nice. But not what I'm used to."

"Oh? And what are you used to?"

"Uhm, it depends. Mostly home cooked when i have time. Sometimes a quick sandwich at the local diner."

The redhead looked up, fork halfway up, stopping always dramatically as she studied the other woman.

Scrutinized, more like.

"You cook?"

Elsa nodded, feigning interest in a particular crouton. "Yeah, sometimes... I learned when i was young because my mother was always working, so i had to take care of myself."

Anna saw the shift of Elsa's shoulders, a subconscious habit of nerves. "That's cool. I'm a disaster in the kitchen. Burning everything, setting appliances on fire. You name it, it's probably happened to me."

Her attempt to gain a smile from the blonde succeeded. Elsa even laughed quietly. "I'm sure you can't be that bad."

Anna added her own giggle to the mix. "You underestimate me, dear Elsa. Kristoff does most of the cooking for us. It's either that or takeout."

And just like that Elsa's smile dimmed. Not noticeably, not massively. But that name, the realization that went with it, made her falter. The woman across from her was taken for God's sake and yet here she was.

"Oh. So, you and Kristoff... live together?"

Anna cleared her throat, seemingly nervous again as she tapped her fork against the side of the plate. But her eyes shone with a sense of ignorant pride, maybe less bashful than her demeanor would suggest.

"Yeah, for now. He wants to get a dorm on campus when he starts college though. So it would just be me. He said he'll still pay his half of the rent though."

Of course they were living together. In this society, it shouldn't have even really been a question. Unless your mind wanted desperately to cling to the possibility that Anna's relationship wasn't all that serious.

Like Elsa's mind wanted to.

Stupid mind.

The blonde picked up her glass, sipping the now room temperature liquid. "That's nice. I still live at home with my mother."

It wasn't really her choice. Given the family predicament, there wasn't the money nor set of mind to move out. Elsa's mother needed her, and even with a job Elsa simply couldn't pay a full rent. And there was no way she was getting a roommate.

The other woman shrugged, sitting back in her seat. It seemed she was through with her meal. "That's not a bad thing. Some people just leave the nest sooner than others."

Elsa scoffed. "It is a bad thing. You're like, three years younger than me."

Anna laughed quietly, but the sound still drifted and met with Elsa's ears. She shook her head and her teal eyes traveled over the other customers within these walls.

"And? People are who they are. So I moved out sooner. You have a job, and I don't. Things happen at different rates for everyone. Be patient, and be thankful."

Elsa's brow furrowed. "That's oddly insightful for you."

Anna's own brows shot up playfully. "For me, huh? So I can't secretly be some majorly inspiring philosopher?"

The blonde ducked her head, awkwardly tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "Th-that's not what I... I only meant that you..."

Anna couldn't help but chuckle as she watched the older woman's cheeks heat in embarrassment as she desperately searched for appropriate words. She looked like an open mouthed bass trying to breath on land, gaping openly.

"Chill. You're shocked face is cute but embarrassing."

That did it. Elsa dropped her gaze, hands falling to the safety of her lap. They grasped at each other, fingers entwining sporadically. Her entire neck felt hot and her tongue glued itself to the bottom of her mouth, leaving talking out of the equation.

She'd said cute. She'd called Elsa cute.

Holy crap.

That was more than Elsa's suddenly infatuated self could take after so easily making a fool of herself for the second time in front of Anna.

Anna only rolled her eyes, not realizing that in that moment the woman she considered her new friend was picturing how " _cute"_ Anna could be.

"Come on. If you're done, I'll drive you home, " Anna stated, raising her hand to motion over a waiter for the check.

Anna paid, stood, and shockingly offered a hand to Elsa.

In that moment, Elsa had a choice. Accept and fall into a disarray of chaotic emotional formulas, or decline and walk away unscathed but alone. It wasn't so clear right then, but even so it was there.

She took the offered hand.


	9. Chapter 9

_**A\N:** Hey guys! I promise this'll be the last time I throw my two cents into the mix for a while. But I really need to just thank someone. _

_Sedryn, you are flipping awesome man! Thank you so much for commenting, sharing, simply reading. Can't express my gratitude for that._

 _And a big shout out to everyone else reading! Couldn't keep doing this without you all! - **Sara**_

* * *

Sometimes life throws you a bone. It's clean and new and ultimately exciting in a way wonderfully unexpected. In that moment, you make the most of the situation or you forfeit the chance.

Otherwise, life is disastrous in a way that can be altogether overwhelming if allowed to be.

Elsa couldn't decide what was happening to her; it just seemed like nothing was that clean cut and dry anymore.

On one hand, as she stared at the acceptance letter displayed beautifully on her computer screen, it was that bone being tossed. In another, as she listened to the puking noise coming from the bathroom, it was a problem.

Her mother was sick again. Worse than before. High fever and lack of an appetite. She needed her only daughter there by her side right now.

But this job, a mere starting chef at the most glamorous restaurant this town had to offer, was her future. The only one she ever saw herself having.

The hours were the problem. Even working at the cafe extra shifts had given Elsa the time to treat her mother. Up until noon in the mornings and most of the night.

That wouldn't really be an option now. And though the rebellious part of her, the last sliver of something she'd outgrow before even finishing high school, screamed it didn't matter, she was hesitant.

What if her mother got worse still? What if... No, she wouldn't even go there. That was a road of consideration she didn't care to traverse at the given moment.

The blonde's hand clenched beside her mouse. Seconds ticked by.

And then with the click of a button, it was done.

* * *

"Here, drink this, " Elsa murmured, pressing a tightly gripped white mug to her mother's lips. The smell of spices wafted up, burning her nose. A family recipe, something said to cure any ailment.

Hopefully it could cure depression.

Her mother's nose wrinkled, dull eyes studying the murky beverage. Hesitantly, she took a sip. And fell back into the pillows coughing.

It never got any smoother, no matter how many times she drank the stuff. You'd think one would grow immune to its bitterness.

Elsa smiled half-heartedly when the woman before her attempted another mouthful though. She was trying, that was all Elsa asked for.

"I have to go out tonight, mom. I'll be back before nine. Do you need anything before i go? "

The truth was, she didn't have to. But the house was making her claustrophobic, her thoughts growing darker and darker. The two just weren't a good combination. She needed to get out of there before she drove herself mad.

After grimacing and sinking down further beneath the sheets, the woman shook her head. She made no attempt at speech. Her throat just wasn't up to the challenge yet.

Elsa nodded to herself and reached over, setting down the cup on the nightstand. She hoped her mother might try drinking more of the liquid throughout the night. "Okay. I love you."

She left without a response. Even without being sick, her mother rarely gave one anyway.

* * *

The night air was more forgiving than she deserved. It didn't attack her, nip at her cheeks or nose, blow her coat open. It simply ruffled her hair and washed her in a cool refreshment.

Her thoughts drifted from her mother outward. It wasn't that she wanted to forget reality, or maybe it was. She just wanted things to be clearer. Was that selfish?

Her gut said it was.

She didn't make it far, just a few blocks away from home. And then she stopped.

Right in the middle of the sidewalk on a cool winter night, watching the stars twinkle overhead when the clouds would part. It was quiet out here, just her and her thoughts.

Until a vibration in her pocket nearly made her jump. She fumbled with her jeans back pocket, tugging out the phone she'd had for years.

A single text shone brightly on her screen, words from the one other person her mind was having trouble ignoring.

 **Hey, how are you? Krist is having a party this weekend. I'd love to see you there! -A**

A party? One of the worst social conventions ever to exist, at least to someone more or less antisocial all the way around.

Too many people. Too many regrets. Far too much hassle overall.

But Anna had been the one to invite Elsa. Had specifically requested her presence. That was like some overhead string challenging Elsa to decline.

The thought of seeing Anna with Kristoff was... unpleasant, to say the least. It left a knot in the blonde's stomach too tightly wrung to just get over.

But maybe that was a good thing. Maybe seeing how happy they were together, how perfect they were together, would snap Elsa out of this hazy fondness she held for the younger woman.

Or make her so insanely jealous she did something rash.

Either way, it would lead to getting over her inappropriate crush. Through a low blow or losing the very opportunity to be with Anna in any fashion, even that of a friendship.

Her fingers were moving before she even finished unraveling her thoughts. The second spur of the moment decision she'd made tonight.

Maybe things would be okay.

It only took a second to time. How long to regret?

 **I'd love to. Text me the address later. Can't wait.**


	10. Chapter 10

It all went by in a blur, a week devoid of anything even remotely interesting. Overly long hours at the coffee shop led to a lack of rest, and what little was achieved had to somehow be managed between the care-taking of her mother.

So when Friday finally struck, she should have been ecstatic. She was going to enjoy herself for the first time in days.

But, instead of feeling better, she felt worse. Chaos became her bedroom, clothes tossed haphazardly around. Where once there had been crystalline perfection, there was now disaster.

And Elsa sat half naked on her swivel chair, damp hair from a shower clinging to the back of her neck as she surveyed the scene.

None of her clothes fit the term "casual dress." It was like her entire life style had come back to back hand her in that moment, leaving her glowering at the very existence of her sweaters and over-sized t-shirts.

It wasn't really the idea of looking stupid at a party that terrified her (though that in itself was horrifying enough). But it was the idea of looking stupid _in front of Anna._ Yeah, she was definitely getting over the woman.

Biting her lower lip, she cursed under her breath and stood, grabbing the first articles of clothing she deemed even remotely decent.

It would have to be good enough.

* * *

No one greeted her when she got there. People were coming in and out anyway, so she just headed in.

There weren't that many people there. Maybe twenty. She didn't see Anna or Kristoff, though.

There was music, low and subtle under the chatting of groups. In her light red blouse and best jeans, she didn't feel under-dressed.

Elsa made her way into a quieter corner, surveying.

The apartment was overall nice. A matching couch and armchair had been moved aside to make room for the guests. A rather large tv monitor sat chiefly on a chestnut table, pushed directly against the wall.

She took a few deep breaths and slipped back into the crowd, trying her best to get by without touching anyone in the process. She managed, reaching the kitchen easily enough.

Counters were scattered with drinks, anything from light beer to mountain dew, even a few cocktails. And the decently sized table in the center had snacks laid out.

Still no sign of the hosts of this little get together.

Making her way over, she gingerly pushed herself up onto one of the only free counters, ducking sideways to avoid a painful head collision with the corner of a cupboard.

Someone to her left snickered at her attempt, the sound making her jerk her head and accidentally hit it anyways.

"Ow," she breathed, hand raising to rub the area of impact.

A young man, seemingly her age, stepped forward from the door, smiling bashfully. "Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."

When she looked up, she was almost immediately sucked into his trance like gaze. His eyes were indecisive, blue in their intensity but green in their wonder. His lips, though thin, wove up into the most innocent of smiles. His hair was swept back, such a stunning shade of red it nearly matched Anna's in its insistence.

Elsa found herself gaping, at a loss for words in his presence. If she was even remotely interested in men, she was certain she would've fallen head over heels for him right in that instance.

"Um, hi. I'm Hans," the man said, breaking an awkward silence that had transcended upon them without Elsa's knowledge.

She blinked, as if waking from a stupor. Her eyes widened as she realized she'd been staring, and she tore her gaze away quickly, hands coming up to fiddle with the end of her braid nervously.

"Oh... I'm Elsa," she muttered, cursing herself for acting a fool. No man did this to her. Certainly not this one.

Hans, unaware it seemed of her negative thoughts, strode forward. He pulled out a seat from the dining table, began to sit. But then, thinking better of it, looked to Elsa for permission.

"It's okay if I join you, right?"

After a moment's hesitation, she nodded. He sat down backwards, straddling the back of the chair and resting his arms on it.

"So, Elsa," he began, testing her name on his tongue, "you seem awfully familiar. Have we met?"

She cleared her throat, looking up at him again. He appeared genuinely curious. "I don't know... Maybe we went to school together?"

He laughed lightly. "Not unless you went to a private, all boys school, too."

A blush threatened to creep up her neck. "O-oh... Maybe you've ju-"

"Hans!" a light-hearted, surprised voice chirped. Anna's voice.

Both Elsa and Hans looked up, toward the entry way. Anna held the biggest smile Elsa'd ever seen on the young woman before. She rushed in, throwing her arms around the older man's neck.

"Hey, cut it out, dork," he laughed, nudging her playfully with his elbow.

"No way! You said you wouldn't be here." Her words were muffled as she pressed her face against his shirt.

Elsa watched the interaction awkwardly, clearing her throat when a heartbeat of silence passed. Both redhead's looked up.

"Oh, Els!" Anna bounced up, braided pigtails falling over her shoulders. "This is my brother, Hans."

Hans smiled, pushed Anna away from himself gently. "Ah, now I know how I know you. Anna wouldn't shut up about you."

Anna swirled on him so fast it was a miracle she didn't fall. She swatted him maniacally as he only laughed, proclaiming it was true.

And once more Elsa only watched, baffled, letting those words play on repeat in her head. Anna had mentioned her. Anna had spoken about her.

She could have died right then from a wonderful overdose of happiness and embarrassment.


	11. Chapter 11

**Important A/N:** _Listen guys, this ISN **'** T Helsa. I have nothing against the whole Elsa with Hans thing, but I can't write it. I don't know, I'm not a fan. Maybe something about him being a whole dick in the movie just threw me off. We'll never know._

 _Also, I'm sorry to those of you questioning where the updates are. No excuses. Just haven't had the time or energy. Thanks guys! -Sara_

* * *

If she could have, she would have drowned in the green of those eyes. She would have recorded then set on replay that melodious laugh. She would've caressed the velvety smooth touch of flesh with the most delicate of fingertips.

Anna blinked slowly, smiled gingerly. Oh how desperately Elsa wished to kiss those deliciously sculpted lips of rose.

Their eyes locked, hunger and a guilty sense of longing the only conveyed emotions swirling within both. Nothing stood between them. Not reality. Not the fabrications of half truths and white lies.

Elsa was the first to move, eager but understandably anxious. But Anna didn't stop her. The redhead's eyes slid shut as the blonde inched forward, breath stilling in anticipation. An anchor of nerves buried itself in the confines of Elsa's bosom.

Her own eyes slid shut when she was close enough to feel a breath again her flushed face, enough to make her squirm.

" _Elsa_."

The sound of her name made her freeze. Because it was said so... wrongly. It made her feel vulnerable and disturbed. It made everything swim in uncertainty.

" _Elsa_."

This time she knew it wasn't from Anna. But even then she couldn't open her eyes. She just wanted to hold on to this, to the thought that maybe it was okay.

Anna's lips brushed her own.

" _ **Elsa**_!"

* * *

She jerked awake, head snapping up as panic ripped through her chest painfully tight. Through the fuzzy and nonexistent clarity, she could just barely discern that this was her room.

"Elsa!" Her mother, somewhere too far away and unimportant.

Her head fell back to the pillow, eyes squeezing shut as tears prickled at the backs of her eyes. When she licked her lips, she could still feel a ghost kiss present. Taunting.

A bead of sweat tickled her collarbone as she pushed herself up onto her elbows. She felt disgusting.

With a sigh, she swallowed down the anger and frustration ebbing its way into her head. "Fucking idiot."

She just wanted to curl back up and forget there was a world to walk out into.

Instead, she slid out of bed and headed for her mother's room.

* * *

His eyes bore into her, challenging orbs of faded turquoise. But his simple smile contradicted, thin lips curled up innocently. He scratched his ear, leaning forward to study her.

"An internship. The best I can do for now. That would work for you, ya?"

Elsa's hands clenched in her lap, but she did her best to return his generous grin. "Yes, an internship would be lovely."

He nodded approvingly, glancing over at his computer screen. She was fairly certain her application was what held his attention so effortlessly during this whole exchange.

He eyed her sideways. "You can be here tomorrow at six, ya?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then welcome aboard, Elsa."

He stood up then, and she froze, surprised at his size. He towered over everything, massive muscle wise. But what you would call a gentle giant.

His hand came out, offered. She swallowed uneasily and stood as well, embarrassed to see her hand slightly shaking before it was overwhelmed by his own.

If he noticed, he didn't acknowledge it. She smiled a bit more forcibly. It hurt her cheeks.

"Thank you, Mr Oaken."

* * *

"Dude, that's great!" Olaf practically shouted. His arms wrapped around her, her feet leaving the floor as he lifted and twirled her around.

She squeaked, face ablaze. A few of their co-workers snickered, someone wolf whistled playfully.

Olaf laughed, setting her back down. "I'm proud of you, scamp." His hand ruffled her hair; she swatted at it too late to do any good but soon enough to smack his wrist.

"Stop, it's not a real job yet. They might not even really hire me." She knew it was the truth, but she couldn't help smiling at his enthusiasm.

He shrugged, gap toothed grin so cheeky it was unreal. "Doesn't matter. It's better than no chance."

She opened her mouth to respond, but he beat her to the chance by pulling her into another bone crushing hug.

She complained against his chest, argued that there were customers to get to. It took a few moments, but he finally let her go. Not without a quick kiss to her temple.

"Alright, fine. So it's not that big a deal. Not like you've wanted to work there forever. What was that dream of yours? Master chef, I believe?"

Elsa rolled her eyes."And your dream is to be a professional skater. We all have our fantasies."

She began walking away, out into the front. He followed behind, still grinning from ear to ear. "Yeah, but yours isn't a fantasy anymore. It's reality."

"What's a reality?" a sweet voice cut in.

Elsa's smile faltered. She hadn't kept track of the time. But there was Anna, sitting at the counter, smiling right along with Olaf.

Her nose was slightly pink, Elsa noticed. And her hair was swept back half-heartedly. More to keep in check than for looks.

"Els just got her dream job," Olaf clarified. The two had gotten to know each other since Elsa was a mutual friend. It helped that Anna came here every night basically.

Elsa wanted to interject, but when her eyes met Anna's, her dream came rushing back. It didn't help that that look was mischievous.

"Then I guess we celebrate," Anna smirked.


	12. Chapter 12

She'd expected something similar to last time. But it wasn't like that.

Olaf ordered her something fruity and exciting she couldn't ever pronounce, and Anna insisted on a full retelling of how and why Elsa wanted this job. It was nice.

The music was just subtle enough to be appropriate and groups of friends sat around tables laughing and joking. Those dancing were making a show without being ridiculous. Maybe not a family setting, but definitely comfortable.

"You know, I always wanted to be a model," Anna was saying, stealing the tiny umbrella from Elsa's glass. She twisted it between her fingers. "I was told I didn't have the figure."

Olaf scoffed, slapping the table with an empty palm. He'd already downed his first beer and was about to get another. "No way! You're fucking gorgeous."

She laughed at him, Elsa glared. He shrugged as if it concluded his point and walked away.

"What do you think?"

Elsa raised her glass, sipping the pink substance. "What do you mean?"

Anna's smile grew. She twirled the umbrella again. "Am I as gorgeous as your boyfriend thinks?"

The blonde nearly choked. She dropped the glass, not caring when some of the liquid sloshed out, coughed awkwardly into the crook of her elbow.

"Boyfriend?" she basically wheezed, looking up to find Anna trying her hardest not to laugh.

"I'm guessing that's the wrong label?"

Elsa shook her head, glancing toward the bar. "He's not my boyfriend. He's more like a brother."

Anna nodded in understanding. "Mm. My bad. Just thought since you two were so close..."

"No."

It was harshly finalizing. Like the very idea disgusted her. Which, in a way, it did.

The redhead held her hands up defensively, smirking. "All right, alright. Don't bite my head off over this."

"Yo, Elsa, hottie at twelve o'clock," Olaf hissed, sliding in beside the blonde and jerking his head to the left. He was smirking much like Anna, but Elsa didn't take his look as offensively.

She couldn't help looking. No wonder Olaf still thought she was straight. She saw Anna looking, too, out the corner of her eye.

She knew she knew him from somewhere. His demeanor seemed so familiar. But the backwards ball cap he wore and his high color hid the majority of his face.

Anna must have been able to tell who it was, though. "Hans," she murmured, a smile twitching her lips up.

Oh. That's where she knew him from.

"Huh?" Olaf asked, looking over at Hans then Anna.

The redhead rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. "That's Hans. He said he had a date or something tonight."

That only seemed to confuse Olaf more. "Woah, woah, wait. So you know that hunk?"

She laughed at his description of her brother. "You could say that."

Elsa shook her head, sitting back in her seat and fingered the rim of her glass. "He's her brother, dumbass."

He nudged her half-heartedly, feigning hurt. "Hey, I didn't know, alright? You gonna go talk to him?"

It was directed at Anna, who only snorted. "No. He'll be back at the apartment tonight so I'll see him then. Doesn't mean he has to become part of my social life."

The two fell into a low conversation, but Elsa couldn't include herself. She was watching Hans, subtly, annoyed by something that hid at the back of her conscious.

So she didn't hear when the music shifted course. From respectively romantic slow songs to something a bit more upbeat and offering. Several more friends and couples found their way to the dancefloor.

Anna gapped when one song started, catching Elsa's attention. "Oh, I love this song!" Her eyes drifted over to the blonde. "Please, please, please dance with me, Elsa?"

The blonde stared, then snorted. "I told you, I don't dance."

The redhead's jaw set. "You also said you would last time we hung out."

Elsa mouth opened, but she found she couldn't argue. She had said that after all. Damn it.

"Fine," she groaned, but it wasn't agitation twisting her gut up. It was pure nerves.

Against better judgement, but egged on by Olaf, she followed Anna out onto the floor. Into the midst of people who'd already found a rhythm to stick to.

Into the belly of the beast.

Anna's hand found her own, and everything in Elsa startled and stalled for a moment.

Someone bumped into her, she jerked forward instinctively. Just to find herself so close to Anna she could've counted all those freckles.

She stumbled back as Anna laughed, and thankfully they found a decent amount of space to work with.

It took a moment for Elsa to feel less heated. She watched Anna start to move, swaying her hips, body in perfect harmony to the music. She tried her best to mirror those actions.

But it wasn't fun. And if she was doing this, she was going to enjoy it.

Biting back that annoying worry, she grasped Anna's wrist and, surprising the redhead, pulled their bodies closer.

It only took a moment for Anna to see what was happening, maybe she knew the dance. If she didn't, she was one hell of an improvisor.

They swayed and brushed past each other effectively, like waves in the water, sometimes intermingling, sometimes separate.

Elsa couldn't help that she actually felt relaxed and happy.

And then the song was over, and Anna bumped into her and stayed, laughing and clutching Elsa's upper arms.

And Elsa didn't think. She just did.

Her head ducked down, their lips met breathlessly.

And all Elsa remembered was watching Anna's back, watching her push people out the way as she ran from Elsa.

* * *

 **A/N:** _Sorry, please don't hate me! Happy Thanksgiving (early)!_


	13. Chapter 13

She was a yellow-bellied coward. But maybe that was for the best. After all, Anna didn't attempt to contact her either. So, she actually wasn't that bad, right?

Yeah, no she was a horrible human being.

It was sad really. She didn't even go to work for the fear of bumping into the younger woman.

And for fear of having Olaf looking at her like she was psychotic. Yeah, he'd witnessed the whole thing that night.

He claimed he'd love her regardless. That she was who she was and that was all there was too it. But even he couldn't help wondering about her.

But life catches up to you after a while. There were bills that had been stacking up for the previous months and, though she somewhat enjoyed her internship at what was literally her dream job, it didn't pay.

She didn't have a choice.

So come Tuesday morning, she dressed and headed to work. On the way, she sent Anna a text.

All that was left was to see how it went.

* * *

A text. _A **text.**_

Of all the stupid,ridiculous things she'd ever done in her life, this definitely took top spot in her mind.

She could've called. Hell, she could've just walked over there considering she knew exactly where the redhead lived now.

But instead, she'd sent her a three word text. ' _Hey, you okay?'_

What the hell was that?! She might as well have sent something as flabbergasting as ' _Hey, I know I nearly stuck my tongue down your throat but we're cool, right?'_

She groaned, roughly shoving her phone into her apron. She'd read and reread that message, hating it, unable to change it.

All her customers could see the anxious irritation in her eyes, kept the small talk down to a minimum. It was the first time in a while she actually appreciated people.

Olaf was there for her, knowing exactly what it was that was bothering her.

"Still nothing?" he whispered, breezing by her with two lattes carefully balanced in one hand and a normal coffee in the other.

Elsa snapped her head down, shame burning her face. "No."

It had been three and a half hours. There was no doubt in her mind Anna had at least seen the text. But it was completely up to her regarding answering it.

And that scared the hell outta Elsa. She hated someone else holding the cards.

Olaf sighed and moved over, dropping the drinks in front of their respective owners with his normal, goofy grin. People liked that about him. He usually got more tips than anyone else.

When he returned to her side, he tugged her apron string, undoing it but not caring as he tugged her toward the back.

"Olaf, I have customers," she hissed, trying to push him away without making a scene.

He only rolled his eyes, and she sighed in defeat as he held the door open for her.

"Okay, so, plan B," he spoke as the door shut behind him. "Any ideas?"

Elsa felt her shoulders sag, and she slipped off the apron to toss it onto a stand. The phone within clattered loudly against the cold metal.

"Nothing. I mean, what am I supposed to do? I broke this, this... trust thing we had between us. She's not forgiving me for that."

Her throat was tight, making her voice higher and more unsteady than it should be.

Olaf immediately stepped forward and wrapped her in a hug, letting her bury her face against his shoulder.

"Hey, it's alright. I'm sure she's just... shocked. She probably didn't even see it coming."

Elsa had to blink to keep back the tears. She refused to cry here at work, refused to let any of them in.

Olaf huffed against her hair, squeezing her a bit harder. "Can I ask you something, Els?"

She couldn't speak. So she just bobbed her head.

With a small chuckle, Olaf whispered his question, so no one else could here. "When were you planning on telling your best friend you had a crush?"

Elsa scoffed, hit him as she tugged away. But it wasn't hard, and a tiny smile tugged at the corners of her lips.

"Never, you big oaf."

Olaf feigned a hurt look, jutting out his lower lip. "But I'm a love expert, babe. I'm the man you come to when you need some lovin' advice."

That made Elsa really laugh, and her body fell forward, arms wrapping around him as she hugged him once more.

"This coming from the guy who can't even get a date," she corrected, pulling away after a moment.

Her friend screwed up his face, but she saw that sparkle still visible in his eyes. "I tried. She's apparently interested in the," he cleared his throat and attempted a higher pitch, "fairer sex."

With a slap to his forearm, Elsa grabbed her apron and snickered. "Yeah, sure. Are we done here? Unlike you, I have work to do."

Tapping his chin, he shrugged, eyeing her playfully up and down. "Let's see. Smile, check. Decent hair, check." He leaned in, sniffed. "Smells like mints, check. Yep, I believe we're all good to go here."

Her grin almost overthrew his own as she reached around to tie her strings again. "Drive me home after work?"

He nodded, already turning to head further into the kitchen. "Absolutely. Too cold to let the pretty lady walk."

She kept that good mood the rest of the day. Even took the time to chat with a few people she assumed were around her age at one point.

And for a brief time, she forgot all about that night, a few days ago. She forgot she was supposed to feel guilty.

Until her phone buzzed. Until she got that three word text.

 _'Can we talk?'_


	14. Chapter 14

She couldn't do it.

Standing there, in front of Anna's door, her fist had never clenched so tight, never felt so heavy. And even if she did knock, she was almost certain the wood would find some way to burn her.

It was mocking her even now, laughing at her inability to complete such a simple task. It was degrading and stupid.

Elsa locked her jaw, shook her head. Why did she have to be so incapable? Now, of all times?

She jumped when her phone buzzed, vibrating in her back pocket to signal a text. It made her wince when she realized it was Anna she was praying had texted, knowing that she wouldn't want that after this encounter.

The metal was cold against her palm, she slid the bar to unlock her screen and read the words. _"Are you here yet?"_ She wished she had the nerve to walk away and say no.

But her fingers seemed more capable traversing a screen, and _"Yes"_ was being sent before she could back out of it.

And then she was staring at the structure keeping her safe was the redhead she both adored and feared. For the first time in a while, she felt cold. Unbearably so.

And then the door was being opened, before she could rightfully composer herself. But her breath caught, because it wasn't Anna. It was Kristoff.

He grinned, a halfhearted simper that just barely pulled up the corners of his mouth. His damp blonde hair clung to his sweaty forehead, and his cheeks were flushed. He looked like he'd just run a marathon.

"Hey, Elsa, right? Anna's in the bathroom, she'll be out in a sec," he huffed, slightly winded. He stepped out the way and motioned for her to enter. "Make yourself at home. I was just leaving for another jog."

Elsa blinked, uncertainty a black cloud threatening to swallow her whole. The thought of being alone with Anna was almost more than she could bear. Not that having Kristoff witness the whole thing would be any better.

She didn't realize how long she'd been contemplating her next move until Krist cleared his throat. Her eyes darted up, and he gave her a more genuine smile.

"I don't bite, ya know."

Elsa felt her cheeks warming; she shook her head and rushed in, passing him as fast as she could. "Thank you," she muttered, heading directly for the couch but then just standing there.

He'd said to make herself at home, and yet the very idea made her stomach knot. Was it really okay to sit? Wait, how much did he know? Had Anna said anything to him? Well, yeah, probably. So then why was he acting like he was okay with her? Even if they weren't dating, it should still make him question, right?

Elsa didn't know, and the more she thought the more she feared. And then she heard the click of a door.

When she turned, Kristoff was gone. The front door was closed. And a sinking illumination began to overwhelm her brain.

She was now alone with not only her crush, but possibly her ex-friend. She didn't have Olaf there to lighten the mood. She didn't have Kristoff there to make things either more or less (she wasn't certain which) embarrassing.

This was a disaster. And the only thing her mind could possibly tell her to do was run.

She just nearly followed that very advice.

But then a voice was cutting into her thoughts, and she turned to find a certain person leaning against the door frame that led into the bedroom.

"Hey, what's up?

Such a casual phrase. It certainly shouldn't turn her stomach into a circus of butterflies. And yet it did. Elsa suddenly felt very, very sick.

"Uh, um, n-nothing?" She cursed herself when it came out as a question and not an answer. Damn her tongue. "And you?"

Anna fidgeted, but a massive smile lit her face. That was definitely not something Elsa expected. "Eh, not complaining. I'm sorry I haven't texted in a while." The smile wavered, but just barely. "Or called. Just been... busy, you know?"

Elsa nodded, though all she wanted was to turn and leave and never, ever look back. "Yeah... I get it." And she really did. Or at least, she thought she did.

Anna rolled her shoulders, stood straight. She motioned to the couch as she herself trudged over. "Sit. Make yourself comfy."

She herself flopped down unceremoniously, and Elsa subconsciously clasped her hands in front of her stomach. "Okay."

It came out as little more than a whisper and she kept her head bowed as she slipped forward and sat at the very edge, as far away from the redhead as possible.

Anna didn't seem to notice, or didn't mention it. Instead, she looked up to the tv and frowned. "Hey, you wanna watch something?"

Elsa furrowed her brow, caught off guard by the question. "E-excuse me?" Her eyes met Anna's, and though she stiffened Anna only motioned with her head to the wall.

"TV. Please tell me you like Disney. If you don't, we can't be friends." It was a playful tone, kind and innocent. But it still made Elsa bite her cheek.

What? She was confused, but for only a second.

And then it dawned on her.

Anna was avoiding the obvious elephant in the room. She was purposefully delaying the uncomfortable conversation Elsa had been certain was her cause of being here, possibly hoping to avoid it altogether.

Elsa kinda wanted the same thing, if she was being honest with herself. But it made her heart sink a little, too.

She sat back, relaxing just the tiniest bit, deflated almost. "Yeah, I love Disney," she answered honestly.

For some reason, it hurt when Anna smiled at her.


	15. Chapter 15

Sweat beaded upon her skin, made her clothes stick to her uncomfortably. Her legs and chest alike burned, an attempt to receive some sort of sympathy from her.

But she didn't mind the fact she was slowing down, or the fact that she was sure she'd pulled a muscle in her side not too long ago. She just wanted to feel something other than the nagging bitterness that had developed around her this past week.

A shaky laugh came from a few steps behind her, a gasp as too much air was taken in. She glanced over her shoulder, smirking when she saw Olaf pushing drenched hair from his face.

"You okay?" she asked breathlessly. Even she was tired, which was saying something. She couldn't fathom how much he was hating this.

Unable to respond through the huffing, he shook his head, smiling at her weakly. Despite the desire to run until she couldn't feel anything anymore, Elsa stopped so he could as well. Immediately his next expression was one of thanks.

They stood together, bent over, sucking in the slightly chilled air. It made her chest tingle, her cheeks felt numb. She halfheartedly swiped a hand across her face.

"You... feelin' any better?" Olaf wheezed, standing up and stretching his arms over his head.

The blonde smirked, mirroring his action before twisting her upper body in an attempt to calm the burning muscle in her side. "Yeah... much."

He only nodded, clearing his throat as he rested his hands on his hips. They both silently wished they were closer to one of their houses.

"You... got plans tonight?"

Elsa cocked her head, cracking her knuckles. "No, why?"

Her friend smiled, but it turned into a pained expression as he quickly covered his mouth and coughed exceedingly loud. "Just... just 'cause."

Rolling her eyes, she shook her head in response and turned. "No. You ready to keep going yet?"

She could hear the exasperation in his voice when Olaf next spoke. "Sure, why not?"

She knew it wasn't a secure way to escape his questioning, but it would work for now. Not waiting for him, she took off at a steady jog that had Olaf shouting after her to wait.

* * *

"And... checkmate," he declared, grinning like a praised child as he sat back in his kitchen chair.

Elsa stared at the board like it was an alien machine. No way did she just lose chest to Olaf. There was no way... he had to have cheated or caught her when she wasn't focused.

"No way! I call a rematch," she demanded, glaring at the board so fiercely it was a wonder it didn't burst into flames.

That big, toothy smile was all she got from the man across from her.

She sighed, sitting back as well. It was oddly quiet now, when they weren't quietly bickering over what moves were and weren't okay to make, and what pieces could move how.

It was quiet until a soft, babyish voice cut into their thoughts.

"Olaf?"

Both turned toward the voice, and Olaf playfully huffed when he noticed the tiny boy plaid in panda bear pajamas. "Marsh, whatcha doing up, buddy?"

The boy's only acknowledgement to the question was to tighten his hold around the massive teddy bear that had been his second best friend forever. Bested only, of course, by the famous Marshmallow.

"One sec, Els," the brunette mumbled, standing and shuffling over to his little brother. He crouched down and muttered something too quietly for the blonde to hear, but it made the boy smile and reveal a row of crooked baby teeth.

He half whispered, half hissed something back to Olaf, causing Olaf to ruffle the boy's shaggy auburn hair. Him and Olaf had so much in common, except their hair color. It was strange, in a way.

Turning to look over at Elsa, he smirked. "Marsh was wondering if you'd tuck him in again? We got him a new comforter, and he wants you to see it."

Of course she couldn't say no, that would have been cruel. And anyway, who could say no to eyes that innocent and sincere? Certainly not her.

"Of course I can, I'd love to see it."

The three made their way back, Marshal and his bear leading the way. Olaf stepped closer to the wall, allowing Elsa the chance to slip by, and she did.

When they reached the narrow door that led into the only other decent sized bedroom in the house (the other being the master bedroom) Elsa oohed and aahed at the new transformers sheet.

Tucking the boy in had become habitual whenever Elsa came over and Marshal had a nightmare, or simply couldn't sleep. She didn't mind, actually enjoyed his presence.

It was seldom that she and Olaf would read aloud a bedtime story, but those times were even more fun.

The way Marshal's face would light up told Elsa she was doing something good and helpful.

Marshal's soft snored filled the room not long after Elsa had began humming his a soft tune. She smiled, planted a delicate kiss to his hairline, and both Olaf and she left, closing the door securely behind her.

She rested a hand on the knob, the cool metal refreshing. In a way, she kind of wished she had a baby brother or sister. Not that it wasn't like she'd been adopted into this broken but secure family.

But she wondered if she'd have been a good big sister to someone blood related. She was pretty sure it would have been challenging, but worth it in the end.

Definitely worth it in the end.

"You want me to drive you home?" Olaf asked as they were standing outside the door.

Elsa didn't even consider rejecting the offer for the first time in forever. She sighed softly and nodded. "Yes, please."


	16. Chapter 16

It had been a month since she started her internship, and now she had a job she could say she was happy with. She still worked at the coffee shop on days she had spare time, but now it wasn't a chore.

Her mother was feeling better. Well enough to get up, move. Elsa still talked her out of working, though.

Really, the only thing that seemed to be going bad for Elsa was her relationship for a certain, never present, redhead.

She'd talked herself into believing she was over her small case of infatuation during the intermission the two seemed to silently agree upon. But the second they began simply texting again, she found herself cursing her mind and body for its anxiety when it came to the other woman.

It didn't help that Hans had seemed to take an interest in her. Strictly friendly, he assured, but it now entitled her to spend more time at Anna and Kristoff's apartment, since that was his go to for leisurely time. Which, of course, led to more awkward encounters with Anna.

Not that either admitted to the all too brief meetings being awkward. Anna acted just like herself. And Elsa tried her hardest to keep her dumb mouth shut and her eyes to herself.

Of course, that was one of those things easier said that done.

* * *

"Come on!" Hans shouted at the tv screen. The scowl on his face was so menacing, but Elsa knew it to be an almost permanent part of his game nights.

Currently, the cause of his anger was a baseball game, something she didn't particularly care for. He seemed so absorbed in watching it, though.

"What the fuck?! He totally missed that on purpose!" Hans grumbled, crossing his arms as he huffed and slid back into the chair.

"Language," came the sharp, feminine response from in the kitchen.

The redhead next to Elsa rolled his eyes. "Overbearing. Insubordinate. Hypocrite." He counted off his fingers as he listed off his cousin's personality.

What Elsa didn't expect was for a response to sound out behind her. "Childish. Judgmental. Obnoxious."

At first, this had seemed like a rude exchange between angered persons. But, Elsa had realized over the course of multiple trips that this was more or less a common, though somewhat aggressive, normal practice.

It didn't mean she understood it any better.

Hans laughed, eyes leaving the game for the first real time in a while. They landed upon Anna, and he puffed up his cheeks playfully. "Brass. Irrational. Irritable."

"Crude. Aggravating. Dic-"

"Alright, how about we eat?" Kristoff interrupted, setting down a plate of what looked like a very messy version of nachos.

Elsa gave him a sideways glance of gratitude. Kristoff flopped down beside her, Anna squeezing in beside him.

The four of them, or three, engrossed themselves into the game, Kristoff and Hans cheering for separate teams simply to annoy one another. Elsa found herself unable to focus, and the nachos weren't settling on her stomach. She barely ate a handful before allowing the others to finish the plate themselves.

No one questioned when Elsa got up and left, claiming a bathroom break.

No one, except Anna.

Elsa let herself fall against the closed bathroom door. Her stomach was suddenly churning, and she felt like she might be sick.

A light rap came upon the door, and Elsa nearly jumped. "Y-yes?"

"You okay? You looked a little paler than normal," Anna's voice, muffled by the door, answered.

Elsa swallowed, twisting her hands together. "Yeah, yeah I'm good. Just a stomach ache."

"Can I come in?"

The blonde blinked, staring at the door. Better judgment said no, but she was opening the barrier before her mind could tell her hand no.

"Sure, yeah..."

Anna slipped in, closing the door behind her, muffling both the cheers and the boos coming from the two men in the opposite room. She smiled gently, easing her way over to the mirror.

It was one of those that you tugged open to reveal a medicine cabinet, and Elsa watched as Anna scanned three or four medicine bottles before handing her a prescription medication. She read the label and frowned.

"This isn't exactly a Tums," she joked weakly.

"No, but it'll help."

Elsa bit her lip, questioning. But a wave of nausea hit her. With a nod of her head, she twisted open the child proof seal and let two of the pills tumble into her palm.

She didn't bother with water. She braced herself, them popped them into her mouth and swallowed as fast as she could. She weakly gagged when one began dissolving at the back of her throat, but managed to keep Anna from seeing.

"Thank you," she muttered, handing back the bottle and letting her gaze drift up and away.

This bathroom was small. No, tiny. And being this close to Anna, it was driving her insane. She was sure that if she didn't feel so ill she'd have loved it.

"Do you want me to drive you home?"

The question was spontaneous and unexpected, and for a moment Elsa's eyes fell onto the redhead with disbelief. She didn't think Anna would want to spend that much time with her alone.

True, it was literally just an offer home, not a date request. But still.

"Oh, uhm... No, I mean it's okay... I can walk," Elsa stumbled, turning back toward the door. This small room was becoming smaller.

"No, you're not walking anywhere if you don't feel well. Just let me grab my coat and my keys, and we can be on our way."

That tone of voice didn't give any option to disagree. So Elsa bowed her head in submission. Her tone was weak, but her heart skipped.

"Okay."

* * *

 **A/N:** _Sorry for lateness. Hope you guys enjoy, thank all of you! -Sara_


	17. Chapter 17

She kept the window down in an attempt to keep her temperature even. She felt hot, uncomfortably so. It didn't help that being so close to Anna seemed to worsen her condition considerably.

Not that she could even fathom the concept of caring, however.

They kept quiet, either from lack of conversational options or from sheer awkwardness was debatable. The radio was turned up as a way to fill the silence, blaring something along the lines of modern pop.

She kept glancing over at the redhead. Anna sat with her back straight, hands clutching the wheel like it was her lifeline. Her eyes never once left the road, not even at stoplights, but her lips occasionally moved as she lip synced the words to some of her favorite songs.

Of course it only took about five minutes to reach Elsa's house.

The engine rumbled, humming below the music, and Elsa swallowed uneasily as the car pulled into the driveway smoothly. She really, really didn't want to leave. But at the same thing, this was the most uncomfortable experience she'd had in a while.

She couldn't help that she didn't immediately get out, that she just sat there and nibbled her bottom lip. She nearly jumped when the quiet was ended by Anna clearing her throat

"Listen, if you need anything, or even if you don't, you've got my number." It sounded strange, but Elsa didn't dare question. She just nodded.

Anna returned the gesture by reaching down and flickering off the safety lock, then paused with a hand pawing at her hair. The look of contemplation was so sickly sweet.

"Um..." She seemed like she had more to add, but a shake of her head told Elsa that regardless of what she wanted to say, that was it.

"Okay... I'll see you later. Tell Hans and Kristoff I'm sorry I left so fast."

Anna offered a faint smile. "They were so caught up in the game they probably didn't even care."

 _Too true_ , Elsa thought. "Heh, probably. It was kinda funny watching them fight like that, though. They looked like kids yelling over a toy or something."

The redhead actually laughed. It was unsteady, but sincere, offering a more light-hearted tone to filter over them. "Nah they always look like that," she joked.

Elsa threw her own gentle chuckle into the mix, making both relax further. It felt carefree. It felt like it had before.

That's what made Elsa suddenly clear her throat, hand falling to the door handle. The thought of that night. She loathed herself for it, even now. Anna tried, but things hadn't been the same since. This was the first time they'd been alone since they'd reconciled.

"Again, thank you," the blonde concluded, grip tightening on the cool metal pressed into her palm. "I already feel better."

She'd barely pushed open the door before a hand was on her arm. She jolted, what felt like electricity fanning out over the entirety of that side. Her gaze immediately fell back to her friend.

The redhead quirked an eyebrow, perhaps at herself, tipping her head in confusion. "If you want, we can grab something to eat. You didn't really eat anything back at my place."

Elsa felt her neck flush. So someone had been paying attention to her loss of appetite. And it had been Anna of all people.

But it was the proposal that had her palms turn sweaty.

"Oh, n-no, that's okay. I'll nibble on something here, don't worry about it."

There was one thing she'd learned, though. Anna was persistent. Even through their awkward, closed off phase.

The frown that blossomed on the younger woman's face could have melted the toughest of hearts. It was so innocently disappointed that it hurt.

"Oh come on. Please?" There were those puppy eyes Elsa had been waiting for.

She sighed, but internally she was ecstatic, albeit jittery, as she carefully pulled the door securely shut. "You win," she muttered, reaching for the seatbelt.

She couldn't stop her lips from pulling up at the corners, however. Anna saw. It brought that summer like smile back full blast as she reached for the gearshift.

Elsa only shook her head.

* * *

"You're the fastest eater I've ever seen," Elsa commented, making the woman across from her give a shy smile.

"Yeah, well, I really like food," came the saddest comeback in history.

It wasn't that Elsa minded. Or that she was staring! No, not at all.

She just felt awkward having half a plateful left when her companion was already downing for secund glass of iced tea and pushing away a dish with only crumbs left.

She picked at her turkey, screwing up her mouth in a way that Anna had come to call her "guessing grimace". She couldn't help she sometimes looked stupid while thinking.

"Here," she stated firmly, pushing her plate across the table top.

For a second, Anna stared at it like she'd never seen something of its kind. Or maybe it was the prospect of sharing that was foreign.

But then she was pushing it right back. "Oh no, no way. That's yours. I've eaten twice already. You've barely touched anything."

Elsa scowled. She dropped her fork, letting it hit the glass noisily for good measure. Anna thought of herself as strong willed; Elsa just hadn't joined in.

"If you don't eat, we leave, because no one's eating."

Those pure teal eyes narrowed. "You're bluffing."

Elsa smirked. Then began to stand. Anna gaped, then scoffed, then quickly stabbed the smallest piece of turkey on the plate with her silverware.

"Fine, but I'm barely eating anything."

Elsa smiled politely and lowered herself again, taking up her own cutlery. "Fair enough."

She only managed three bites before the dish was bare.


	18. Chapter 18

All Elsa needed was Anna's smile to tell her everything was okay. That they were okay. That Anna didn't mind when they were left alone and that she trusted Elsa.

Elsa tried trusting herself. She let their hands graze and their eyes lock when they delved into a conversation. She allowed herself to compliment whatever Anna was wearing, flirt when the mood was casual.

But she was still scared.

Of the possibility of pushing too far. Of crossing that border again. Especially when she got so damn nervous around Anna.

But Anna didn't seem to notice when she'd look away, when she'd pause in the midst of a point or argument. Maybe she just didn't want to go back to that awkwardness. Elsa knew she didn't.

* * *

"Are you even listening to me?" Kristoff grumbled, waving a hand in Elsa's line of sight.

She blinked, furrowing her brow. "Wha...? Oh, yeah, of course."

The blonde rolled his eyes, flumping back on the couch and returning his gaze to the screen. "Whatever. She'll be back soon."

Elsa cocked her head. "Who?"

"Anna," he stated, as if it were the most obviously thing in the world. "That's who you're sitting there, zoning out about, right?"

Heat threatened to creep across her face. She swatted the idea away like it had a physical presence. "Idiot. Of course not."

Kristoff only smirked. But only for a second, and then he looked at her with a seriousness she'd never witnessed before.

"Look, I get it, okay? She's an amazing person. Are you in the closet or just haven't admitted you like her? 'cause it's pretty obvious, man."

Elsa's mouth floundered, mind desperate for words. Never, not once, had this man been so straightforward and blunt with her. She wasn't sure whether he was teasing her or being sincere. And was that look of boredom for comfort or hiding anger?

Clenching her jaw, she narrowed her eyes. "I'm gay. But Anna is just a friend."

"Woah, what? Since when were you gay?" a startled voice chimed in.

Both blondes jumped, but only Elsa sharply turned to look at Hans as he gaped. His mouth was twisted into something close to a frown, creases making a home along his forehead.

"Always?..." Elsa muttered, worried by the way his eyes seemed to burn at her. This didn't look like a good response.

Hans only glared, his hands slowly balling into fists. They stared at one another, but only because Elsa couldn't pull herself away from that... that look of pure hatred. Not five minutes before, Hans had been offering her a beer and chips.

Now, she would've been dead if looks could really kill.

"Get out."

It wasn't harsh. It wasn't loud. It was simply final, threatening anyone, especially Elsa, to object.

Maybe that was what made it all the more frightening when Hans jumped her.

She couldn't move as a blur came lunging at her. She couldn't breath when a fist connected with her cheek. She couldn't cry when pain, hungry tendrils of it snaking up and down her face and neck, burst forth.

She'd been hit before. Her mother was occasionally... crazed, when in her drunken stupors. But this, this was hell. This was agony, rattling her teeth and snapping her head sideways.

"Didn't you hear me?" Hans yelped, and Elsa could only whimper.

He was right in her face, spittle hitting her lips, and a hand jerked her head so fiercely back it was a wonder she didn't receive whiplash.

"Fuck, man, get off her!" Kristoff was yelling, and she briefly glanced his worried face before the edge of the coffee table dug deep into her side, pressing against the underside of her rib cage at an awkward angle sure to bruise.

She groaned, licking at something warm that suddenly overwhelmed her taste buds. Copper? Fuck. She knew that flavor too well. Blood.

"What the hell?" Someone new. Anna, Elsa realized.

She blinked, looking up, finding Hans in a choke hold, Kristoff looking dazed as if unaware of how he ended up there.

And then Anna. Innocent Anna, pulling at the blonde's arm and yelling at him to let Hans go. Before her eyes met Elsa's. And everything seemed to click within the swirling confusion and panic seeping out onto her features.

"Just... Take him outside. I'm sorry, Hans... You'll have to find some place else to stay for the rest of your visit."

Purely emotionless, blank eyes trained back on Elsa as the two men shuffles away, Hans cursing and managing to scream out "You're an abomination before God!" before the door swung open then slammed shut.

And the redhead broke. Her eyes overflowed with water and her knees buckled before she could make it over to the helpless blonde laying in her floor. She crawled the rest of the way.

Elsa was in shock. She wanted to help, to wipe away those tears and tell Anna everything was okay. But she had no idea what had even happened. Or why.

"Are you... okay?" she asked numbly, ignoring the scorching wave of agony that swept over her as she sat up. It felt like the stupidest thing ever to ask, but it was all she could think of.

She didn't receive her answer through words. Thin arms wrapped around her neck, and despite the blood she could feel trickling down her chin, Anna kissed her skin. Her quickly darkening cheekbone. Her sore jawline.

Her quivering lips.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed, burying her face against the older woman's neck. "I'm so sorry..."

Elsa couldn't make her tongue work. So instead, she pulled the redhead back. She hoped the look she was giving was reassuring.

It didn't matter. She dipped her head, and claimed Anna's lips.


	19. Chapter 19

"Ow," Elsa grimaced, jerking away from the cold rag.

Anna smiled sadly, placing a soft hand against the blonde's unaffected cheek. "Just hold still. I'm almost done."

They could both hear Kristoff pacing in the next room, and it made Elsa feel guilty. She'd done nothing wrong; her sexuality was not something she hated about herself. But she couldn't shake the feeling that this was her fault.

As if reading her mind, Anna suddenly leaned in, pressing their foreheads together. "You'll be okay."

It was almost easy to believe the redhead then. Her tone made it clear how much she trusted her own statement, but Elsa was so tired of feeling this way.

Like she was a problem. Like she just got in the way. She needed Anna to say it would work out. That the moment they shared meant something. That it wasn't pity that brought about this sudden change.

Was that selfish? It sure as hell felt like it.

"Ow, God!" Elsa hissed, pushing away the hand that probed her sensitive jaw. She glared when her "nurse" only chuckled as a weak response.

"Anna," Kristoff called, and it the first either woman had heard from him since he'd escorted Hans from the scene. He stood uncertainly by the door frame, fidgeting in place and staring at the ground.

Immediately the tiny amount of comfort that had somehow remained present through everything just... disappeared. Elsa could physically feel the change as Anna's smile dropped. As she stepped away from the blonde.

"Yes?"

Krist shook his head like he was scared. To speak up in general or to offend the redhead, Elsa couldn't tell. Either was a very probable scenario.

"Can we... can we talk? Privately?"

Elsa knew when to butt in and when to leave. She swallowed down the feeling of dread that clawed at her chest as best she could and pushed herself up.

"Elsa was here, too. It's okay if sh-"

"It's okay, Anna," the blonde quietly interjected her friend, "I get it. I have to get home anyways. If you need me, you know my number, okay?"

The younger woman didn't seem convinced, but a pathetic look from Kristoff had Elsa hurrying past both people, not looking back as she made her exit. Her head pounded with each step downstairs she took, but she didn't care. There was so much she needed time to consider.

As horrible as it sounded, Anna was actually one of the last things on her mind for the first time in a while.

* * *

"Mom?" she called out as the door shut securely behind her. She could hear rustling coming from the kitchen, soft but present. And the faintest smell of peppers greeted her nose as she breathed in.

"In here," a voice called out, followed by the blink of metal on metal and a curse.

That caused Elsa to pause. Her mother... didn't cook. Not anymore. This was just one of those things she'd come to accept. So when the microwave beeped, the blonde actually considered the concept that somehow she'd slipped into an alternate dimension. That would explain most of today, now that she thought about it.

She quickly slipped from her coat, hanging it up before shuffling over and into the kitchen. She was shocked into stilled silence when she saw what was going on.

Her mother was humming quietly as she sautéed something on the stovetop, occasionally glancing over at the oven timer. Her hair was pulled back into a tight, high ponytail, clean looking, and her clothes looked fresh. She looked better in that moment than she had in the last year.

"Mom?" It came out as a whisper, like she couldn't find her actual voice. And maybe she couldn't.

The woman turned slightly, the smallest of smiles gracing her lips. Until she saw her daughter's face. And then she was shutting off the oven and taking the pan from the stove and frowning as she stepped over to Elsa.

Elsa only gaped. Yep, she'd fallen into an alternate dimension. There was no other logical, sane reason her mother would be babying her right now, asking where this cut came from and gingerly testing the growing bruise.

It seemed a lifetime before she could speak.

"Mom, what the hell is this?" She didn't mean it to come out so accusatively. Or maybe she did. She didn't know anymore.

Her mother looked away, hands retreating instantly as she bit the inside of her cheek. "I... I found the note, Elsie. Beneath my pillow. I read it and... God, Elsa..."

There were suddenly tears in her eyes! It was the most confusing roller coaster Elsa had ever been on. Her feelings were so confused and tied up she didn't even bother trying to seem one way or the other. She simply asked, "What note?"

Her mother blinked, swallowed. Her eyes landed back on Elsa. "The note... The one about your-" But the shakiness to her tone led down to a whimper as she smiled delicately. She couldn't speak after that.

The blonde was at a loss. She hadn't placed any note under her mother's pillow. Not since she was a child, and even then it had been limited to holidays and birthdays.

Her mother embraced her. For the first time in years. And it jolted Elsa, made her jump and gasp. "What?.." But the warmth and the sense of peace, something her mother had lacked for so long, emanating from her being drew Elsa in. She couldn't help hugging back.

"I love you," she heard. Her breath caught, she froze.

Those words.

They made her heart soar.

She buried her face against her mother's shoulder, feeling so very close to tears. This felt...

Indescribable. Unlike anything she'd been through in a while.

And it was wonderful.

"I love you, too."


	20. Chapter 20

He greeted her at the door with bags in hand and a huge grin. She met his open smile with her own, noticing how his eyes hovered over her injures briefly before he slipped inside.

Marshal came bouncing in after him, smiling crookedly from ear to ear and immediately requesting hugs.

They set to work immediately, pushing the couch and recliners into the middle. The walls looked shabby and flaky as they pulled aside curtains, and the tv came unbolted far too easily. Loose, wired poorly.

Newspapers lined the floor, Marshal kept sticking his tiny hands in paint and touching things. Olaf scolded him, but with a wink and appraisal from Elsa, he was quickly back to "decorating" the couch. Honestly, it looked much better with crudely drawn animals and tiny handprints.

They stopped for lunch, provided by Elsa.

It was nearing four when, exhausted, she grudgingly flumped down in one of the recliners, the whole thing creaking with her weight. She yawned and propped her feet up on the table, rubbing her eyes with the backs of her wrists like a small child.

"Hey, you want the trimming colored too or leave it?" Olaf questioned, using the roller to finish the last of the final wall. Aside from the small circle of protruding wires from where the tv had been mounted, this whole room looked twenty times nicer and much, much brighter.

Amazing what a little paint could do. Granted, the majority of it seemed to be occupying the clothes they adorned and the couch from Marshal's masterpieces. But still.

"Might as well do the trimming. Otherwise it'll look weird, don't you think?"

Olaf nodded, dropping the roller as he shifted his shoulders then brushing his hands on his pants. "True."

She sat in silence as he pulled out a brush, dipping it, letting it drip, then beginning the finishing touches. At least to this room. Now that they'd started, she knew the whole house needed to be redone.

But that just seemed like a really, really big order right now. And not one she was excited about fulfilling.

She was just getting ready to get up and help out when her phone buzzed. Sighing, she slowly retrieved it from her pocket and swiped.

 _'We need to talk. Meet me at the café?'_

Elsa groaned. Didn't this woman know those first four words were literally the most nerve wracking words ever strung together? Olaf looked over to her from his flamingo-like stance.

"You okay?"

She looked up, doing her best to fake smile. "Yeah, yeah it's good. Um... do you... I mean I know that I asked you to come over, and you've been a big help but..."

"But she asked you to come over," he finished for her. She expected some level of annoyance or insult, but instead she found humor.

"Yeah," she murmured, looking down in embarrassment. She didn't wanna just ditch like this. Truth be told, she would've said no if not for the impending guilt that would have followed that response.

"Go. I'll finish up here, and I'll lock the door when I take Marsh home. Have fun," Olaf teased, throwing a wink in for good measure.

She couldn't help chuckling quietly. "Yeah, okay. Thanks, buddy."

He turned back to the wall. "No prob, bob."

* * *

She was sitting at the table, Elsa realized, that she'd sat at when they first met. She was the only redhead in the café and stood out against the tan background. Hot cocoa rested in a mug between her bare hands.

The second Elsa walked through that door she felt anxious. Anna looked up and smiled at her, but it was a sad smile. Her mother waved hello, and she had to force a smile.

She didn't say anything as she slipped into the booth; she didn't want to make a fool of herself if this was about something bad.

Anna was the first to break the silence that loomed over them. "I'm so sorry about Hans." She didn't look over from the window as she continued, but her jaw twitched with something Elsa couldn't distinguish. "He... he grew up in a religious household. He goes overboard, but that's no excuse, not really. I don't expect you to forgive him."

Elsa shook her head, fingering the lining of the coat she'd tossed in beside her. "No, it's okay. I mean it's not, but it's not your fault."

"But that's who I was," the redhead snapped, anger strung deep into her words. "Not that bad, but that's what I thought of people like..." _Me_ , Elsa heard in her head, making her stomach drop.

She sat back, staring at the woman before her. The woman that, just yesterday, she'd kissed. The woman she knew she cared about.

That woman was... homophobic at one point?

"And?" she questioned. "You don't seem that way now."

The younger woman's fingers drummed the table as she forced herself to look across the tabletop. "Look, I... I really, really like you, Elsa. More than I've ever liked another woman. But... I don't know what this is, what I'm doing. I don't know if I even want this."

She felt her chest tightening, her thoughts quickly spiraling downhill. No, no no no. This wasn't how this was supposed to go. Not after what happened. There was no way Anna was giving up on her now.

"Anna, Anna you can't be serious," she said, and she let out a shaky laugh to quell the sudden disbelief. "Come on, I just... We just..."

"I'm sorry, Els. I just, I can't."

And it was so finalizing and so... horrible.

Elsa could only sit and watch as Anna stood, as she walked away.

As she said, without a word, that Elsa wasn't enough.


	21. Chapter 21

She hated the way his hands violated her. The way he grunted and pushed and grabbed. The way he rolled off and slipped from the covers with little more than a sigh. The way he dressed, article by article, slowly and purposefully.

She hated when he leaned back down, the bed shifting with his weight. The way tears burned at her eyes as she looked away and told him to go. The way he didn't argue, just shrugged. The way the door clicked shut after his departure.

She hated herself. How an imperfect body and swollen eyes looked back at her from the mirror when she was strong enough to stand. How she still felt him as she scrubbed at her flesh later in the shower. How she couldn't stop the sobs that finally broke her, forcing her to her knees in the bathroom floor.

She hated the person that had done this to her.

She hated Anna.

...No. No, that was much too far.

She didn't hate Anna. She could never hate her, no matter what the blonde was going through. This was all her fault, not Anna's. Never Anna's.

It took nearly an hour before she could move from the floor, stand and dress and strip her bed. It didn't remove the filth that tormented her mind, but it lessened the nausea at having to look at those sheets. She wouldn't use those again. Those would be thrown away.

She was thankful her mother worked so often now, that Olaf was too worried about finances to notice her absence. It made it easier to lock the doors and draw the curtains. To forget there was a reality outside her room.

She was going to be fired. She hadn't gone to work in three straight days, and although that wasn't that big a deal she also hadn't said a word about why. Not a text, not a call, not a confrontation. She just didn't care.

The worst part of all was that she couldn't understand why. Anna hadn't even been anything more than a friend to her. Anna had been confusing and naïve and... so wonderful. It didn't make any sense and that pissed Elsa off more than anything else.

She didn't go as far as completely dropping off the map. She still texted Olaf and her relationship with her mother was being mended piece by piece. There was so much strain and uncertainty between the two that it made things complicated, but they were trying.

Elsa shook her head as she dropped the sheets into the garbage can just outside the back door. She trudged back inside slowly, feet like lead, falling unceremoniously onto the couch's soft cushions.

All she wanted to do was sleep more. That was all she ever wanted to do now.

* * *

The sound of a whirling fan was what she awoke to. For a long moment, it baffled her in her half-awake, half-asleep state. She didn't remember turning on her ceiling fan, but then again, how would she know? She wasn't really aware of a lot of the things she did lately.

Her jaw tightened as she sat up, pushing back the tussled bangs that brushed at her forehead. Her computer was on, screen the only source of light in the room. Even the moon hid back behind wisps of silver, afraid to show its face.

She stretched and stood and shuffled over, blinking away the drowsiness that clung to her eyelashes. The time read 3:37, much too early.

A sigh escaped parted, chapped lips as she thread her fingers through the unwashed strands of her loose hair. Her feet took her out the room and toward the stairs, where each step down was obnoxiously pronounced. It was a wonder she didn't somehow wake the entirety of the neighborhood.

The kitchen, a glass of tap water straight from the sink, a creaky chair that threatened to buckle as she leaned back in it. Somewhere in the distance came muffled barking, a car driving by. Its headlights threw shadows that danced and played upon the walls.

She sipped at her water, scrunching her nose that the chemicals, and let her head lull back, eyes silently scanning the room. She could see more now that her eyesight was adjusting.

And it was a good thing, too.

Her mother kept a calendar right by the kitchen entrance; it had been that way as long as Elsa had been alive. There were normally letters or bills placed up around it, a homemade billboard of sorts.

Elsa hadn't seen anything around that calendar in years. If she was being completely honest, she couldn't even remember the last time it had been on the right month. But now there was something, a worn piece of notebook paper with creased edges and fading lines.

The writing on it was new, however, and in the most beautifully sloppy cursive the blonde had ever seen. She knew that handwriting, and when she stood to confirm it, reading the first few words, her heart nearly sank.

That note her mother had said Elsa had given her: it hadn't been from Elsa at all. Of course, Elsa had known that from the get go. But now, now it was clear. Or, more confusing really.

The note was from Anna.

* * *

 **A/N:** _Very quick explanation for this chap because I know someone will say something: Yes, Elsa_ is _gay. She's with a man because A) She hasn't come out fully, and B) Her town is small. It's easier to find a man for a one night stand than a gay woman._

 _Also, sorry if updates seem a little hectic on and off. Gonna be traveling for a bit so just relax, I'll work on it. Big thanks to everyone reading and commenting, means a lot. Thanks! -Sara_


	22. Chapter 22

Her emotions were... unclear, really. And her mother could tell the second they were in the same room together. It happened to be in the living room, as they silently set up a new television Olaf had given her. To be fair, he'd really had to threaten and force her to accept it.

She really wasn't much for charity.

A zap of electricity slithered up her finger as she accidentally touched a loose wire, making her wince and jerk back, cursing quietly under her breath. Her mother looked up, frowning with her eyes but still letting the edges of her lips tug upward.

"Are you okay?"

Elsa nodded, shaking her hand to get the tingling feeling to disperse. "Yeah, no problem. Just surprised me is all."

She heard a chuckle, but it sounded slightly off and she couldn't help sighing. She shoved her hands into her pockets after gently setting down the bundle of cords and turned to her mother. "Come on mom, whatever it is, say it."

The woman's face pinched up as she studied her daughter. "I think that goes both ways, Elsie."

For the first time ever, Elsa winced at the nickname. Because with it came an understanding, this reminder that she was not opaque. Her mother always knew. Call it intuition.

Her head dropped as she smoothed out her oversized t-shirt and bit at the inside of her cheek. She didn't want to talk.

"Elsa..." It was so sincere and so firm and so grounding. It made her nails dig into her palms but mouth open as if to speak.

"Mom... can we sit? Please? I just... need to talk to you."

Her mother's brows came down, furrowing, and for the first time she realized just how much of her mother she was. Same strong jaw. Same twitch at the corner of the eye when upset. Same stiff, unbending stance.

But they sat. A soft hand was placed on her knee as she ran over her thoughts, and her eyes came up to rest within the confines of piercing crystal.

"Do you remember that letter? The one you found under your pillow?" Her mother nodded but her lips didn't unseal. Elsa swallowed and readied herself to continue.

"I didn't write that, mom. I never even thought about writing something like that... That was a friend of mine. I don't know how or when she found out that stuff but... but she wrote that, and I don't have any proof other than the handwriting, but-"

"I know."

Elsa blinked. She looked up at her mother; in her sad excuse for a rant, her eyes had started drifting around.

"W...what?"

Her mother gave an innocent smile, and her hand squeezed her daughter's knee reassuringly. "I know, Elsa. Olaf told me, a few days later. I thought you knew, too."

Elsa slowly shook her head, mouth turning down but not quite frowning. "No, no I never heard anything."

An arm wrapped round her shoulder, pulling her in against a warmer, albeit smaller and thinner, being. She enjoyed the moment, letting herself relax if only the smallest amount.

"Mom... there's something else I have to tell you..."

She was sweating, she could feel the perspiration on her neck and between her palms. A herd of beasts mangled her stomach, turning it inside out, making her want to throw up. Suddenly it felt like she was trapped.

But she knew. It was now or never. Now or never. That...

Didn't help.

Her mother hummed against the top of her head, and for a heartbeat she felt like a young girl once again. Being wrapped up in the warmth of her comforter while her mother read off the letter her father had just mailed to them.

And then she was herself, and she was scared, and she slammed her eyes shut as she breathed through her nose, because she was mentally and physically preparing herself.

"Mom, I-" Her throat clogged, and she coughed and nearly gagged at the feeling of her chest tightening to extremities. Her next breath was shaky, and her words were weak.

"Anna wasn't... she was more than... Mom, I...

"I'm gay."

It was little more than a whisper that got caught in the air and fell, like her stomach, to the hard floor beneath her soles. She wasn't prepared. She'd tried to be and she was determined not to cry regardless of what happened.

She hadn't expected the reaction she received, though.

"That's okay." And the arm around her was still there, squeezing her tighter, and a face was burying against the top of her head and she felt her mother's shoulders shake once before stilling. "I knew that, too."

Elsa choked, her lungs begging for air but her body refusing it. It took too much to even think about breathing. But a word slipped out, one that desperately needed to be spoken, if only for some sense of clarity.

"H-how?"

Another shoulder shake. Now she knew... Her mother was crying, quietly. And she couldn't bring herself to pull back and check and see if the woman was okay.

She wasn't even certain _she_ was okay.

"A mother just knows," came the answer. And if this had been a different situation, a lighter one, she would've laughed. Laughed and joked back and been able to act like everything was completely normal.

But this wasn't that time or place. This was here, this was now, this was emotional, this hurt.

She half-sobbed, half-sighed in relief, and pressed her face against the fabric of her mother's blouse. She knew the material was getting wet but couldn't help herself. It felt nice like this. To be held as if she truly was that five, six year old girl she'd lost so long ago once more.

And they cried together.


	23. Chapter 23

She wasn't angry with him. God knew she couldn't be. He was so innocently oblivious that it left no leeway for loathing. It was just him, and she couldn't fault him for that.

But she could pout, making him groan in annoyance as he sat and tenaciously dissected all he'd done and said within the last few days, trying and failing to find something askew. Anything. Something he said, something he did. Anything that would explain Elsa's sudden dejected state around him.

She found that that was far better than a direct assault; Olaf hated seeing her down.

But as a muggy day waned on and they found themselves stuffed into the corner booth of their favorite little diner, she dropped the act. Not that it really was one, she was huffy about life. But she could buck up and smile for his sake.

This mind boggled him, and he went from groaning and running hands through already thinning hair to scrutinizing her over the top of a cup of coffee. She gave nothing away, nibbling at her sandwich and letting her eyes wander out to the streets.

When it seemed he'd go mad without some form of clarity, he ground his teeth and clutched the mug tighter in his hands, tanned knuckles whitening from the pressure.

"Alright, alright! For God's sakes, Elsa, spill it. Whatever I did, I'm sorry, okay?"

And she realized she may have pushed too far, eyes turning back only to find a frowning, saddened face. He looked like a rejected puppy about to start whimpering, and it borderline guilt tripped her.

She gave a teeny smile and let herself relax back into the booth's leather. "I think I should be thanking you, but I'm not completely sure."

Thick eyebrows shot down in scrutiny, only quirking up in confusion when memory failed to serve up a reason for the thanks. "I don't follow."

Elsa let the simper adorning her lips grow, eyes once more falling to the outside world. "For telling her. I don't... I couldn't have."

And clarity was only then revealed, similar to a veil being lifted and hazy sights being sharpened drastically. He blinked, made an "o" with his mouth and grinned a crooked smile. Before it fell away, of course, to be replaced with what she could only assume was supposed to be consolation.

"Was that sarcastic? I mean... she asked and I knew you were like a clam so I started sharing, but then I went overboard and... so, yeah. I'm no secret keeper."

Elsa actually laughed at that, letting her head shake and pushing back platinum strands that clung to the sides of her face and neck, loose from their bun. "No, it wasn't sarcastic. I mean it. Even though it... didn't work out."

And for the briefest of moments silence descended and they shared in quiet revelation before Olaf cleared his throat and promptly went back to stuffing his face, as Elsa knew he would. It was just him, and she adored the brotherly aura he put off.

But for some sick reason the universe always found one way or another to screw with her, and as evening turned to dusk and they began motioning over a waitress to pay their bill, one of the last people on the planet she wanted to encounter at that given moment walked through the door.

Face glistening with sweat, shirt looking like a waterfall had hit it and sticking to damp skin, the blonde found his way over to the counter with ease. He received one or two looks from customers that- no doubt -smelled him, but he couldn't really care less.

Elsa looked anywhere but up, not even listening as Olaf insisted he'd pay their whole amount, the first time she hadn't argued over expenses in a long while. No, she could care less who's money was being spent so long as she got out of there. Preferably three minutes ago, but late was better than never.

She chanced glances from the sides of her eyes, catching the way the blonde man chugged down a smoothie in little more than four swigs, wiping his mouth with the back of his wrist and smiling serenely up at a younger waitress as she walked past.

Their eyes met. She knew it. He knew it. They didn't acknowledge it.

He was looking away once more and pulling out a fading gray wallet to pay for his shake, and she briefly glanced at Olaf as he tried hitting on the girl taking his bill and cash. She would've laughed at the failed attempt any other time.

Kristoff was gone by the time they stood, but that didn't stop her eyes from darting to the front door, across the wall like she could see through it out to wherever he had ventured. She had to mentally chastise herself to get her head back into the game, half-heartedly sliding back into some discussion that had turned to the promise of summer.

They exited, her eyes unconsciously scanning the streets around them for sighs of the burly man. She was almost... disappointed?.. when her search came up empty.

If you'd asked what Olaf was saying the entire drive back up to her house, there wouldn't have been any way she could tell you. Because she wasn't listening.

Not when her phone suddenly felt like it weighed her back pocket down, a certain redhead's number not erased. Not when a hand came up unconsciously to trace over a now healed lip.

It was almost comical how dramatized her mind was making the whole thing out to be. But she sort of expected it.

Her goodbye was fast and left Olaf confusedly watching her retreating form.

Then, to her room. Where she spent the next couple of hours bathed in emotional thought.


	24. Chapter 24

Another dreary day, another bland spending of her time. But that didn't bother her, because honestly, she had nothing better to do. Too chilled for a walk. Too lonely at home. Olaf was busy and she didn't have work.

The "museum" (though it could hardly be called that, a two story building for local art exhibitions alone) had seemed a nice mix up, seeing as she hadn't been there in what she could only begin to assume was years.

She really needed to get out more.

By the time she found herself back at the entrance, it had begun to rain. A light, steady drizzle that deepened and turned to a full on downpour right before her eyes. Nature at its purest. Nature at its most beautiful. The heavens above crying for the earth.

She hadn't brought an umbrella. Her coat was paper thin. And her house, of course, was several streets away. The second she stepped foot outside, she'd be soaked to the bone with the possibility of catching pneumonia and dying.

Okay, that was exaggerating. But she still didn't want to get wet.

So Elsa stepped just outside and rested her back against the clay brick wall, letting the ledge overhead shield her more or less, closing her eyes and listening intently.

Rain had this calming effect that so many people overlooked. Rain brought a sense of cleansing and rebirth, a promise of something more, something greater. You only had to accept it.

She could feel tiny drops landing on her face, dripping down from her pathetic shelter, shuddered and hugged herself as a more drawing wind whipped her loose hair around her face.

And then the dripping stopped, a grayer tone covering the faint light that had been coming through her eyelids. She opened them to find a deeply set blue umbrella overhead.

That wasn't what made her breath catch, wasn't what made her mouth go dry. It was the bundled up figure by her side. The smaller physique of a younger, but still adult body. Red hair outshining the sun and teal eyes having the same gravitational pull as the moon.

Not a word was uttered between them. Not from Anna, not from her. They were comfortable like this, knowing that that comfort would dissipate the moment either acknowledged whatever was happening.

Anna began to walk. Elsa trailed along. She didn't question as they stopped before a hastily parked car. Didn't argue when the passenger side door was tugged open, immediately slipping inside without wonder.

She didn't even think she breathed till the engine revved to life, hot hair blowing out of open vents a moment later, knocking the chill from her slightly damp collar and throat.

It was eerie, sitting here. Watching only Anna's eyes move as she steered. Listening to the steady, if not slightly loud, breathing coming from the girl. Smelling the sweet scent that she always attributed to Anna being... well, Anna.

It was weird and it was tying her stomach into the worst kind of knots and she thought she might drive herself to insanity if she had to endure another second of this. Their last parting had been anything if not painful, so to find herself right back here without warning was not at all believable.

But she was. And Anna was pulling into her driveway without pause much too soon. And the engine was dying around them, heat turning off so that all they could hear was the rain pelting the car.

She wasn't the one to break the silence, her heavy tongue wouldn't allow it. She only listened as Anna, sweet Anna, spoke for them both.

"I'm so sorry, Elsa... I've been driving myself up a wall over this, over nothing, and it's just too much. I thought getting away from you would be the right thing to do, but it's not. Not by a long shot. It's just hurting us both."

Elsa could feel those enchanting eyes on her, and for that reason alone she could no more return the look than she could fly.

"If you can forgive me, I'd like to start over. Clean slate. We could be friends again."

Friends. Elsa nearly burst out laughing, because such an idea was certainly comical. No, friends was off the table. This, this obsession she had for the redhead, it would only mess everything up.

"I can't." She stated simply, by some miracle her voice not stuttering or failing altogether.

The pained intake she received bit at her, too harshly for her to accept. She was unbuckling her seat belt before she could think it through. But there she hesitated, eyes scanning the younger girl's face in silent pleading. The last thing she wanted was to scare Anna away again.

A curt nod from the girl was all it took to unravel her control. Not that it was under much control, anyway.

Anna didn't stop her when Elsa launched herself at the redhead. Didn't push away when powerful, lust driven lips were pushing against hers. Didn't whimper in disgust or revulsion when an eager tongue pressed past her defenses, ready to map out every inch of her mouth.

She accepted, arms wrapping around the blonde almost encouragingly. And Elsa was glad, because though she would've stopped for Anna, she sure as hell didn't want to.

Their messy, awkward entanglement lasted a moment longer before they were pushing away, breathing deeply, staring at each other through a haziness only they could see.

Elsa wanted this. Anna needed this. That was all they had to understand before the assault began again, another seatbelt clicking undone and a car abandoned in exchange for the promise of a much more comfortable bed.

Friends was most definitely off the table. But maybe that was okay.

Maybe that was just opening the slot for something more.


End file.
